Suzanne SxySadist

Whew! What a fast paced whirlwind weekend! I am still catching up on my sleep and recovering (I actually think that my thighs will be recovering for several weeks but more on that later). Here are some of the things I remember most about The Floating World 2008 (which I would link to by the way except that they  seem to have already ripped the site down for this year):

Classes! OMG!!  I think the offered total was 146 classes over the course of about 60 hours. Classes started at 2p on Friday and ran all the way until 1130 at night on Sunday! I have always LOVED going to events for the classes.  In fact many times I would wait to register for an event until I saw what classes were being offered and by whom. If I wasn’t going to learn something new that intrigued or excited me, I’d look for another event.  I admit that after 15 years or in the lifestyle and attending national conferences like this for at least 10 years, it gets harder and harder to impress me with a class schedule because many times I glance at one and yawn because I have seen them all befgore but this event definitely had something for everyone!!  I went to great classes by presenters I had either never heard of or gotten a chance to see before and I finally got to catch several classes by presenters I have been dying to see but never had a chance to get to before due to schedule conflicts.

A few of my favorites were “Deep Connection” by Jim Deuder, “Self Actualized Sub” by Aranea,  ”Elegant Pain” & “Self Defense” by Mojo Daddy,  “Cutting Cautery & Sutures”, by Sir Top, “Anatomy for BDSMers” by Jay Wiseman, “Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional” by Lee Harrington (who Brett and I were delighted to be room mating with), “Emotional Edgeplay” by Caterine Gross (more on Lady Catherine later when I tell you about my thighs).  And trust me, I barely scratched the surface because there were just so many classes to choose from at every time slot and I was teaching my own classes during three of them! So, yes, it was truly an amazing line up of educational opportunities. 

However I do think future schedules could use a bit of tweaking to better line up classes for people interested in particular tracks and offer them a proression of information.  For example, I had several people complain to me that they had to choose between my Adaptable Bondage class and Dov’s rope class that were both at 4p on Friday.   I also noticed that they had an intermediate to advanced whip class on Friday night and the 101 class on Sunday which didn’t make a lot of sense to me.  

Speaking of my classes… they all went great! The first one Friday (Adaptable bondage) had the smallest attendance with about a dozen people (but hey it was Friday at 4p. I think the majority of the attendees arrived after work that night. Saturday morning I premiered a new class called CBT from A- Z in which I ran through the alphabet offering ideas on several dozen types of sensation play for male or female genital and for nipples. Since it was a first run I was really unsure how the timing was going to run and did not get to do as long of a demo as I would like but I got great feedback from many of the 40 or so attendees that said they loved the class so I look forward to offering that one again.   My last class on Sunday was the Ecstatic Caning class and that was also quite well attended with over 40 people but it was very VERY hard for me to scream over the loud speaker and music of the pony show that was going on on the other side of the curtain.  I still think the class went pretty well considering but I would have to say my least favorite part about Floting World is … 

The Noise!! Ughhh I wasn’t crazy about this part last time and well, to be honest, it may be the factor that causes me to drop Floating World from my list of events to do next year.  The building the event is held in had very very high metal ceilings and the majority of the classrooms are simply curtained off areas along the sides of the main dungeon area so even though we had somewhere around 30,000 square feet of space, the noise was almost deafening at times!

But I had a truy wonderful time at FW08 and I am going to jump off line to do a coach call and be back later!!!

So as promised, and while the event is still fairly fresh in my head, (and on the eve of my next adventire to Floating World),  I wanted to jot at least a bit of a journal entry about “Thunder in the Mountains“.  I have been in the scene quite a few years at this point and I have been to pretty much every major event on the east coast but for all these years I have heard great things about Thunder and always wanted to go there, and I am so glad I finally did! Everything they say about Thunder is true!

In fact there were so many great things that I hardly know where to begin! The hotel had just had a major renovation and was truly lovely. The staff was courteous and very accommodating of our special group. The event staff all seemed extremely well organized and helpful (other than a slight miscommunication about class room needs which was quickly remedied). :) Whenever I wasn’t teaching I was attending classes by other amazing presenters.  

Some of the ones that most come to mind include two bondage classes by the incredibly hunky Tony Buff.  (pictured here) Oh my God this guy and his boy were hot to watch! I think the eye candy alone was worth the trip but he is also a very talented rigger and presenter with a friendly, good natured style of teaching.  I should be embarrassed to admit it but I was so impressed with him that I came home, went straight to his website (http://tonybuff.com) and actually ordered one of his “art films”! ;)  Mm, I have never sat through multiple hours of gay porn before and it was definitely an enlightening experience.  

Anyway, (deep breath and a cold shower) and back to the event report.. uhh right. :) So I also totally enjoyed a class about how to design assignments for submissives by the lovely Rita Seagrave, one on needles as anchor points and other demented idea by Scott Smith (what a wicked mean sick phuck that guy is!!) <grin> and a class on Esoteric caning by Master Konrahd (another extremely intimidating, towering figure of a man that left a sweet little bruise on me that lasted well over a week with just the tip of a cane pressed into a pressure point! on my chest) :)

There were a bunch of other amazing classes by Midori, Lolita Wolf, Laura Antoniou, Felice Shays, Boymeat, Mark Frazier, and many more which made it really hard to choose what to go to when I wasn’t teaching my two. Speaking of which, I got great feedback on both my “Low Flying Suspension class” (comment) and my “Intention & Connection” one (which I was actually shocked to see almost 50 people at at 930 am on Sunday).  That class (and the Breath Ritual that sometimes goes with it seem to touch people more deeply than any others that I do and I adore some of the comments I get on my feedback sheets and via email from attendees. It is an amazing feeling to know that one class can have such a huge impact on someone.

Okay next, well the dungeon at Thunder was MASSIVE! Like unbelievably so!  I think someone told me it was like 50,000 square feet but I can definitely attest that there were tons and tons of plays stations in the main part of the dungeon as well as men only and women only play spaces. My only wistful wish was for a couple of the standard 4 by 4 suspension frames, although there were quite a few 11 foot tall scaffold set ups and 2 fairly short suspension tripods.  I really enjoy the standard frames because I can easily transition from a spread eagle standing corporal scene into a partial and then full suspension

Brett and I played fairly roughly both nights and I cannot even begin to say how much I have grown to love beating that sexy man up.  I also got to finally meet and throw some whips at my buddy Drew for the first time Saturday night which was truly amazing fun.  His wife Shelly is an absolute sweetheart too and they look so cute together!  One of my other favorite parts of the event was getting to connect a bit more with Jeanie who I know through her partner, Mark Yu (who I love to play with on occasion because I adore the way that evil sadistic prick hurts me). Jeanie is an absolute doll and she just has one of those beautifully genuine smiles that makes you want to just hug her for a week.  I would so dearly love to schedule a week off next year to go and visit them and a few more of my Texas based friends. 

Whew, ok .. so yeah did I mention Thunder was awesome??!! Well, it was and I would dearly love to be invited back to present at them again next year but even if not, I think I will start saving to budget that one in anyway.  Hell my buddy GrayDancer commented that it was weird being at an event as a civilian and not preseting but it seems to be the consensus that if you are going to go to one and NOT be presenting, Thunder is on the the best to do that at!  Actually I feel that it is one of the best events of the year by far!  Now I am going to get back to packing for The Floating World which is coming up fast!

I have been a bit numb off and on for the past week or so since being told that my former love and partner of 6 years passed away after a long battle with cancer on or about Aug 1 2008.  Although he and I split up and went our seperate ways about 5 years ago, he has never really been completely out of my heart or even my thoughts for long. 

Friends I haven’t spoken to in ages have been calling me all week to see if I am alright… and yes, although I am sad and I will definitely miss him, I moved on with my life a long time ago. Ok, the truth is, I never really stopped loving him and I have spent a fair bit of time this week remembering him, missing him, and wishing I had had one last chance to hug him and tell him what a special person he is, and what a wonderful part of my life he was and how fondly I will always look back on the years we spent together. And I would so just want to thank him for the gift he was to my life.  Nelson touched me in ways no one ever had before and I loved him deeper than anyone I had ever been with. And when he left, he helped me learn that I was far stronger and more capable than I ever would have believed so even in his absence he helped me grow as a person.

He was an amazing man on so many levels and part of me still cannot believe he is gone. But, I am truly grateful that he is no longer suffering. I’d never want to see him hurt, unless I was intentionally and consensually doing it that is. ;) Farewell sweetheart.. and rest in peace.

So I know I have been remiss in writing about my latest adventures in Denver and I am sorry.  Some weeks it seems that the process of landing back home, unpacking, doing wash, catching up on mail and everything else that needs done post trip before launching back into a week full of sessions and what not gets harder and harder to do!

Denver was amazing though! We started with a half day visit to the Denver Botanical Garden which was one of the most beautiful gardens I have ever been to (and I check out a LOT of botanical gardens.) <grin> I took a bunch of photos of incredibly beautiful flowers, especially orchids that I promise not to bore you with all at once.

Then we drove 2 hours to get to Rocky Mountain National Park.  And oh wow, I truly loved the Rockies! We took a leisurely drive up to to the top of  one of the peaks which rose to just under a 12,000 foot elevation and stopped every so often to snap photos and try to adjust to the thinner and thinner air. 

I was really damn grateful to be 6 months smoke free let me tell ya! I don’t think I would have made it that far up otherwise!! Whew.. talk about sucking wind! It was like the most intense and totally non consensual breath play scene I have ever been in!

But it sure was beautiful and truly amazing to observe the shifts in the environment as we climbed.  I had never been higher than the tree line before, stood in snow in July or watched an family of elk stroll by on the tundra 20 feet away. The Rocky Mountains were  truly breathtaking to behold on many levels.

We finished the day strolling through the town of Estes Park and shopped the quaint little boutiques, ate an elk burger at a sweet little restaurant and bought some postcards I never had time to mail. We also visited Estes Ark which is a truly cool shop full of every kind of stuffed animal and such that you can imagine. Luckily I did not have a ton of room in my luggage to go home, (thanks to the ever increasing airline restrictions) so I had to settle for buying one little bear, the Snuggle fabric softener bear to be precise.  It is totally adorable and yes, snugly soft.

I will stop back soon and tell you more about Thunder soon! 

Sorry I have been away so long … Brett was here the week before last for a four day weekend (Thurs evening - Tuesday very early am) and will in fact be here those days on a pretty regular basis as we move into the next phase of our relationship, (which is the slightly more than half the week living together phase).  So far so good by the way.  I think things are going amazingly well between us. I really love the way we are together and several of my dearest friends have commented that they’ve never seen me so happy so they think he is great for me.  He also got the “Leather Clan” seal of approval.

I will admit though that I am still getting the hang of having him here for such long stretches and in some ways it is wonderful because I really enjoy his company!!  <grin> He makes me laugh like all the time because he has such a happy and cheerful spirit.  I also love having such a capable and attentive partner around the house! He is always finding odd chores to take care of for me on top of the “honey do” items I always seem to be throwing at him. About the only drawback so far is that I find myself wanting to spend time with him more than I want to get any work done so I will need to get a bit more focussed on that as time goes on but so far I am managing to keep the bills paid only working part time.

Last week we had a perfect mix of time well spent together! He helped me buy and put together a new cabinet for my “Temple” to store my over abundance of dungeon gear.  After the ensuing major reorganization project I naturally needed to rechristen the playroom and did a fun little scene that began with some fairly mean toe bondage  and evolved into a lovely little predicament that amused the hell out of me! <grin>  We also spent some time with my leather family helping them out with some things as they prepared for a well deserved vacation.  We grocery shopped like a nice normal vanilla couple, snuggled and watched some TV, did yard work together, took a nice drive on Sunday, and even hit an old fashioned ice cream shop for a banana split! How fabulously middle America huh?

Well, we also finished the last evening with me taking him gently but firmly over my lap in bed with a vibrator between us hitting sweet spots for us both, while I commenced to spanking his sweet smooth ass til it glowed hot and pink.  Then I had him kneel at the foot of the bed and stroke himself for my visual entertainment as I pleasured myself with my favorite vibrator. 

Eventually I got out a dildo as well and had him orally work it for me for awhile before I slid it inside myself and made him simply watch as I got more and more turned on.  I have mostly been in relationships as a switch in the past and I am truly enjoying stepping more fully into my dominance with him.  I love that I can be pretty much as kinky as my little heart desires with him and he loves me like crazy for it! 

This most recent weekend was a slightly shorter one but we played some more, shopped some more (this time for a whole new patio set including a waterfall and new barbeque) and made love a lot more but he had to return tonight to LI because he had a special previous engagement with his family.

But he will be back up here Tuesday evening long enough to crash and then hop a flight with me to Denver Wednesday morning! Woohoo Thunder in the Mountains here we come! I have never been to Colorado so I am really looking forward to doing a little sightseeing while we are there!  He has promised to start by taking me hiking in Estes State Park.

I am also going to finally meet my buddy Drew! I met Drew on-line over 10 years ago and we have been friends all this time, spent countless hours on the phone and emailed, exchanged cards and letters and so on for all these years but I am finally going to get to physically hug him and his sweet bride for the first time this coming Friday night.  How wild is that?

Ok that’s enough for tonight .. I am going to go curl up and relax for a bit.. more soon. 

I very much enjoyed the holiday weekend once my Brett arrived.  It was great to have a quiet weekend at home after all the travel of the last month but we did have a few places to go, people to see, things to do etc.

We went bed shopping Sat and my new “Kingsdown” bed was finally correctly delivered today and in spite of a less than ideal shopping experience with Sleepy’s, I do dearly love this wonderful new bed! We spent a mostly quiet Sat evening at home having a scrumptious dinner of steak & crab legs and then curled up together and watched a movie. 

Sunday we went to visit a couple that I know whom I have’t seen in over a year due to our mutually crazy schedules and we spent a great day catching up and eating and just enjoying life. :) 

Monday for our anniversary Brett and I mostly ran errands and caught up on projects that needed doing around the house & yard but we conciously enjoyed doing them together and remarking how neither one of us expected to be together in a relationship when we first played a year ago.

Life is funny that way.  I spent a long time between relationships searching but not quite finding someone who I felt was the right mix of all the things I was hoping for and to be honest, had almost come to believe that he simply wasn’t out there, and then he showed up on my doorstep. 

 Anyway, in other news,  sub lyn the “Long Distance Sub” has finished her commentary on her experience at La Domaine and included a few photos of my rope work (which are getting some very complimentary comments on her blog by the way). :D To see the rest of the pics included the finished piece click here: Long Distance Sub 

In case I hadn’t mentioned it lately, I really LOVE rope. I love the way it looks and feels and smells and so much more. I started a post a month or so ago about rope selection and what I find appealing about different kinds of rope for what purpose and when etc.  Maybe if I can get a quiet day to myself next week I will pull it out dust it off and finish it up.  In the meantime, I am going to get back to catching up on my rest! Be back soon. 

I definitely have an optimistic nature and generally if there is even a glimmer of a silver cloud to be found, I am on the trail. So today, although it started out a bit sad since Brett wasn’t able to make it up here for the holiday, I decided to make it a fairly productive one and spent it catching up on a few projects around the house and taking NiteFlirt calls.

I also spent some time thinking about a couple of things for which I am gratful and other reasons to celebrate.  I actually had an amazingly fun day yesterday playing with my sweet little god daughter, running around the park, playing on the swings and finishing the evening with a delightful tea party. I rarely talk about her here because it is not the right forum for it but that child is the most loving, compassionate and purely delightful soul that I have ever met and she is key source of joy and inspiration in my life for which I am ever grateful.

I will also be celebrating our one year anniversary with my Brett this week. Although we actually originally met more like 8 years ago, we have chosen the date that we first played intimately to be the one that will mark the years.  I am missing him tonight and I think I am going to call it an early night .. since he promises to be here when I awake in the morning, so the sooner I go to sleep. the sooner I will see him again.  Sweet Dreams all!

Whew! I go to some pretty wild, wonderful & weird events through out the year but I can say for a fact that there is NOTHING that even remotely resembles camp! I think I have attended seven out of eleven Leather Retreat camps and can honestly say that just when I think I have seen or heard it all, someone at camp surprises me with something totally new.

Camp is pretty much an anything goes environment and as I explained in my earlier post, there are a bare minimum of rules so pretty much all is fair and game between consenting adults. I have seen and participated in some pretty bizarre stuff by many people’s standards: slave auctions, human pony shows, staged kidnappings with “forced gang bangs”, interrogation scenes that leave the captive whipped bloody, mock crucifixions and so much more that it can boggle the mind.  Last year I was impressed by hearing that they were pouring entire bottles of rubbing alcohol over folks, lighting them on fire and then pushing them in the pool! Like wow! That’s pretty hot stuff!  

But this year’s “cake” undoubtedly has to go to Femcar who cheerfully explained to me that the sutures holding together a five inch gash in her hip were a result of her playmate dubbed “Hannibal the Cannibal” having surgically removed a chunk of her flesh and cooking it like a delicacy then serving it to them both with a nice glass of wine just as his namesake had done in “Silence of the Lambs”.

Gulp, ummm yeah, that definitely wins the prize for most intense and unusual kink scene I have ever heard of at camp to date. I recall doing my best to not let my jaw drop to the floor of the pavilion and appear utterly shocked or appalled as she explained this all to me with a gleam in her eye. I was actually fascinated to be honest in a morbid sort of way and even though I don’t see myself negotiating a flesh eating scene anytime soon I cannot honestly say that it doesn’t turn me on just a little bit to think about devouring just a little bit of a loved one’s flesh. 

I mean think about it for a second; what an intensely intimate offering that would be, to offer your very flesh to your Mistress (or Master) not just to torment and tease but to actually devour, to literally consume and make you a part of her. If you were truly devoted to someone heart and soul, wouldn’t it be just a teeny bit sexy to know that a part of you was being broken down and used to nourish every cell in their body? And that you would bear a permanent mark to show that you belonged to her.  Yes, I admit it, I do find the thought arousing on some deeply twisted level. But that probably has to do a little bit with Master R of La Domaine Esemar planting a seed when we first met by having me read a story called “Master Biting” that he wrote that scared the hell out of me while totally making me wet. 

It seems that with somethings that are on the outer fringes of kinkdom, I am can be quite taken back the first time I hear it .. and then if I hear someone else doing it, perhaps a sightly different way it sort of helps to validate the notion and allows me to look at it again in a different light or from a new angle.  Perhaps the first hearing of it plants the seed but often that seed doesn’t really take root until I have seen other examples of what that can look like fully “fleshed out” as it were.

I distinctly remember being quite shocked the first time I was introduced to the Dolcett girls gynophagia section (although some of the asphyxiation drawings still make pretty interesting “wank material” for me).  The general theme is of absolutely beautiful women not just willingly but enthusiastically participating in their own impalement on a spit and being roasted alive so that their daddy or husband or even neighbors can enjoy the feast.

Yeah, OK .. sick, twisted, perversion of a truly insane variety and the first time I saw those drawings I felt a little ill.  But I do adore breath play which is Dolcett’s other major theme so the lure of that particular brand of porn brought me back to the site again and again until I did on occasion find myself perusing the spitted, roasted pen & ink gals who were willingly, almost gleefully offering everything there very flesh to please the ones they serve.  

At some point I also discovered Muki’s Kitchen where they stage beautiful photo shoots depicting all sorts of tasteful cannibalistic fun & games with some of the most well known bondage models in the industry! They actually have an extensive and impressive number of free photos but ask that you not post them anywhere else so please do feel free to click and peek at who’s cooking in Muki’s Kitchen. ;) One of my favorites is posted here with permission!

Anyway, so I started to realize that there seemed to be more people that shared or at least toyed with this fantasy than I had realized, and yeah I know it is seriously twisted and like I said, I have no plans to chomp an actual bite out of anyone anytime soon but I absolutely have found more than just the slightest glimmer of sexy in the fantasy of it and wanted to share.  So on that note I will leave you to your Independence Day celebrations … enjoy your barbeques!

I made it home from camp Monday late afternoon or early evening and my sweet Brett and slave Tom unloaded all of the gear from the car and spent the next hour or so helping me put pretty much all of it where it belonged.  I was really grateful for that because I was damn tired and camp is a very heavy packing event.  

Since the accommodations are shared boy scout style cabins with almost none of the comforts of home you really need to bring a lot of gear if you want to feel even semi-civilized.  Needless to say that poor SUV was packed to the gills! 

Brett and I were once again in the Polymorph Perversions cabin (my third time, his second) with 13 other people.  Our cabin Hostess Julie aka “Wild Thing” is a fun loving and very sexy swinging spirit!  That girl takes her play very damn seriously and let me tell you, she knows how to party! She brings a portable hot tub to camp with her complete with several free standing awnings and a massage table that we set up on the lawn outside the cabin for au-natural “fuck fests”.  

Although I opted to pretty much only have sex with Brett this week I absolutely love being in such an openly sexy environment!  It is so hot to see other people casually fucking, sucking and otherwise getting it on right in front of you. Oh and in case it isn’t obvious, there are no cameras allowed at camp except for the official camp photographer so the photos on this page are stock photos from the Camp Ramblewood website.

Leather Retreat is unlike any other event I attend throughout the year in that there are almost no rules at camp. Basically, the most important things to remember are: there is no gential nudity alowed in the dining room.  I think that is simply a health code thing. Topless is fine, but either sex has to be somewhat covered on the bottom even if it is only a thong or a very short skirt with no panties. :)  

And the other really important rules are: No smoking or open flames are allowed in the cabins, which actually works OK for me now that I am a non smoker. And you are also not allowed to fuck in the pool but I think that is more about containing body fluids than anything else.  Oral sex is permitted as long as you swallow.

So umm yeah, pretty damn liberal event huh? They let us pretty much self regulate as far as the dungeon parties go.  I do not recall seeing a DM (dungeon monitor) any night in any of the playspaces.  There were three main one by the way. The “dungeon” is pictured here empty but you have to imagine it lined with dungeon furniture on both sides: suspension frames down the center, a wax and fire play corner set up with several tables, and spanking benches and other cool and unique pieces scattered about here and there.

The barn and the pavillion (pictured right & below) are also set up with some great pieces of bondage furniture but don’t see as much action as the dungeon so they are great spaces to go if you want to do a semi privte scene. One cool new feature this year was that the camp DJ broadcast different types of mixes into the different spaces for the evenings! I really enjoyed that concept and felt it was rather sweet to be able to either go to a space with a music feel that matched your mood or to at least have a heads up as to what sort of music was going to be playing in the space you were planning to play in.
 
OK that is enough out of me for one day.. I have some more errands to run and a massage to get to (I could really use that right about now, my back and feet are sore from walking all over camp hauling gear!) I will post some more adventure reports from camp in the coming days!! In the mean time.. it’s good to be home and settling back in for a bit! Hugs to all .. Suze

Speaking of praising my sisters… I so need to give a very special shout out to my girl Miss Troy Orleans! I know I have mentioned her name here several times but I am ever more grateful and appreciative of our friendship for so many reasons and I truly admire the hell out of her. Honestly, that is saying a LOT because I only even LIKE a handful of the many Dommes I have met over the years.  But Troy is special,  very special.

This weekend she once again opened up her studio to me and allowed me to stay there and I truly value that on many levels.  It is so wonderful to have a comfortable home away from home to go back to at the end of the day during these sort of intensive experiences to just let go of the day.  Here’s the kick .. not only did she travel all the way cross the city from her apartment to meet me to hand off the keys, but I had managed to drop my phone en route from the parking garage to her place and she without hesitation simply dropped everything to go and retrieve it for me so that I could start the session I had booked and still get to the workshop on time to set up. I cannot even express how much that simple act touched my heart.  That is one of those “little” things that really show you who your friends are, you know?

She has countess times shown me big and small appreciations that go above the call of professional courtesy and let me tell you, this lady is truly a class act.  Not only is she classically and truly beautiful physically but she has a beautiful soul and spirit.  She is also incredibly intelligent, modest, polite (which I sadly find to be a unique quality among too many of my colleagues) and I am always impressed by the level of seriousness and devotion she applies to developing her craft and her skills and a dominant and yet never from an arrogant or pompous place of superiority or ego. I have co topped with her a few times and I adore how fun she is to play with and we just have a frigging blast together but pity the poor fool that takes us both on.   

I also absolutely love how down to earth and real she is and that she does not take herself too damn seriously so I always feel I can be myself in her presence.  We have shared intimate moments, deep conversations, and been there for each other during emotional times. I really love her and am truly proud to be her friend.  I honestly cannot say enough good things about her and if you are in NYC and want to book a session with a truly wonderful Domina and great human being, give her a call and tell her Suze says: “Hiya!”