Suzanne SxySadist’s Personal Blog

A few words about checklists and interests - I have been playing with the check lists of interests on Collar Me (a kink dating site) a bit but it is really tough sometimes to go through them and give quantitative responses to things without the context of who is doing it and what their skill level, demeanor or intention is when they are doing it. 

There are so many things that I can enjoy under the “right” circumstances and with the “right” incentive depending on who is doing it and why, that I would not even consider tolerating from someone I do not trust or respect.  (and I must know in my heart I am respected and deeply cared for as well.) Face slapping and humiliation for example can be very hot and sexy in the heat of a moment and likely to send me into a rage in others. The questions is: “How good are you at reading the moment?  And can you admit when you read it wrong and handle or navigate the ensuing “storm”?” 

Part of what I enjoy most about the work of David Deida is how he explains the differences between masculine and feminine essences.  The feminine reacts to constantly shifting emotions which the masculine rarely understands fully, and the feminine can rarely comprehend how the masculine doesn’t just “know” how she feels intuitively the way she can easily read others. Opposites definitely attract and the more extreme the attraction, usually the more tendencies there is for heat, passion and fireworks as well as occasional storms and disagreements!     

Neutrality is bland, boring and predictable. I crave passion in my life and my love but my man needs to understand that trying to completely control a passionate feminine essence is like trying to control the ocean. If you can’t navigate your way around or through a storm or two now and then, you had better man the lifeboats!  

Happy Global Orgasm Day to All!!  What?  You haven’t heard of Global Orgasm Day!!??  Well, please go to Global Orgasm  and check out the who, what, why info and join me in this very worthy and highly enjoyable mission! I personally plan to spend much of the day dedicating erotic energy to healing the earth, those around me and myself. Namaste~

A list of some of my favourite non scene related things, in no particular order and I will add more as the mood strikes and they come to mind.  

Bubble baths / hot tubs especially by candle light (hell I like most anything by candle light)

Nude beaches in the summer time - I love to lay in the surf and let the water wash over me.  I grew up on the south shore of Long Island and still try to make it to “Lighthouse beach” whenever I can.

Bonsai trees – I have a small collection and some fair better than others with my hectic schedule.

Fragrances – flowers scents & essential oils like lavender, heather, frankincense & neroli but my favourite store bought perfume is Chanel #5

My musical tastes run the gambit from classic rock to new age to world music but my best loved bands / artists at the moment are Rusted Root, Dead Can Dance, The Goo goo Dolls, & Bela Fleck & the Flecktones to name a few.

I love animals and have a shih tzu and a cat. I did dog grooming for many years although you couldn’t tell by looking at mine most days.

I have an interest in many forms of massage and have taken two 100 hour professional massage courses with the Body Electric School in Oakland CA one of which was a CMT program. Although I am not licensed to practice professionally in NY I still enjoy giving and getting massage when ever I can and am told I am very damn good at it. I would also like to learn hot stone massage, Thai and Shiatsu as time goes on.

I also really enjoy learning a variety of things and have more interests than time to devote to them unfortunately. Perhaps, I need someone to help me learn to better manage my time.

Hmm .. a few more tid bits about me personally…. I am an aquarian (Jan 26th) and although I am not fanatical about placing faith in signs, I have noticed that I get on much better with some signs in general than others.

I keep a rather elaborate altar in my bedroom that has an interesting array of objects from my life that have special meaning for me. I have a particular interest in / fascination with statues of  dieties like Quan Yin, Buddah, Shiva, Shakti, Kali and happy dancing Ganesh (which of course is why I had to add this little fellow)   

Ok, that’s enough for now, perhaps I will go grab one of those books I have been meaning to get to forever. More soon!  

I have had a few people inquire about my mention of the work of David Deida, the reason for my interest in it and how it relates to the lifestyle so I thought it might be helpful for me to write a bit about it. First let me say that I do not claim to be an expert of his teachings and I of course (as we all do) have filtered what I have heard from him through my own life experiences and perspectives, so my retelling of what I have gleaned from it is naturally biased that way. I have held onto the bits that speak to me and let go of much of what didn’t. Anyone that is really curious about his work should investigate it themselves by Googling his name.    
   
First, some thoughts on Taoism since I feel he has drawn some of his explanation of sexual polarity from the concepts of yin and yang. (Which I also do not claim to be expert on, by the way.  Have I disclaimered this enough yet?) J Ok Suze, get on with it.  
   
The theory of yin and yang teaches us that the universe and everything in it is made up of opposing but complimentary forces that are often not set in absolute black & white values, but vary by degree based on one another like so many shades of grey.  Let’s take hot and cold for example. A 65 degree temperature may be pretty warm compared to freezing but it is quite cool when compared to boiling. Just as light and dark vary depending on how far up the grey scale your present perspective is coming from.  
   
These forces are also cyclical in nature meaning that one gives rise to the other and so forth. Night and day are ambiguous at best at sunrise or sunset because of the rise and fall or a dance between these forces where one is always giving rise to the other. You cannot have one with out it’s compliment but unlike “good and evil” which imply judgment, these forces generally strive to reach a balance point that allows for harmony. Life and death are perhaps less ambiguous although I have met more than a few people that may as well be dead for the amount of living they are actually doing, but that is inappropriate because it implies judgment on my part. Anyway, you get the idea.  
   
Also, each of these elements has the seed of the other within it just as the yin yang symbol itself illustrates. Nothing is purely one thing or another because the interplay of the elements always allows for a little of it’s reciprocal to dwell within it.  
   
Let’s look at masculine / feminine & dominant / submissive dynamics for a moment. To begin with, Deida has helped me to understand masculine & feminine better in terms of energy rather than gender and that each person on earth contains both of these energies in them to one degree or the other.  Generally, men have a more masculine essence and women have more feminine but not always and I feel that this is especially prevalent in female dominant / male submissive relationships where the woman displays more of the “traditional masculine” qualities of being in control and setting the coarse of things while the male submissive is more passive and defers to her leadership in the relationship.  
   
For the most part and to further illustrate these dynamics, masculine energy tends to be more dominant, purposeful and focused than feminine energy, which tends to be more passive, fluid, and emotional.  There are dozens of adjectives or qualities that are assigned yin or yang distinction and while I know that many people would take objection with the concept of being labeled one or the other the truth is we all have these qualities with in us and can generally draw from our masculine or feminine (aka yin / yang energies) depending on the circumstance.  Even the most sexually submissive person can exhibit very dominant tendencies when the situation calls for it, like in their professional life for example and people who are very dominant in other areas of their life can at times enjoy taking a more passive role in the bedroom as a break from being the one in control all the damn time, sort of like a mini vacation. (I’d say the majority of my clients fall into that category).  
   
However, I believe that at a core sexual level we are generally far more one or the other. Our life experiences, learning and proclivities, of course shape how well we have developed or learned to express these dynamics but sex is very primal in nature and I feel that our core sexual identity rarely changes much over time and usually in our fantasies we either envision ourselves as being the one in control, thereby “leading the dance” or ravishing our partner, or the one being “captured”, ravished or being “done to”.  While some of us may on occasion enjoy entertaining fantasies of being in the other role, I think most of us find we are most sexually turned on by being on our more “natural” side of the fence with the right reciprocal partner.  
   
It is of course possible to have a sexual essence that is not in keeping with the way we conduct much of the rest of our lives because sexuality allows us to express our inner desires and “exercise our demons” in an intimate and (hopefully) safe setting so that for example, someone that may exhibit far more dominant traits out in the world is able to relax into “their feminine” and enjoy the feeling of surrender with a trusted partner and vice verse.  
   
One of the questions that Deida would pose to an individual in helping them to determine whether they are more masculine or feminine in nature (again not male / female gender wise but energetically on a masculine or feminine level and without judgment) is:  If you had to choose between accomplishing what you feel you were put on this earth to do so that you could die complete OR finding the most fulfilling and loving relationship of your life and living happily ever after… which would it be?  For many people this is a very easy choice.  Since the masculine essence is often drawn to a sense of purpose and accomplishment, they would lean towards the first choice whereas the feminine heart seeks and is driven love first and foremost and often on a devotional level leading to self sacrifice to make sure the needs of their partner are met.    
   
In this day and age however where women are being encouraged to seek out careers and find a sense of purpose and men are being called upon to exhibit more traditionally feminine qualities of openness and nurturing in relationships, the choice has become harder for many and it has lead to a great deal of confusion in communication and polarity since it is opposites that generally attract the strongest.  
   
Society and the roles we play as men & women in it are far different than they were in the 50s and prior to it for example in that the wife / woman is no longer the traditional stay-at-home mom while the husband / man goes out into the world to do “battle” and bring home the bacon.  We both have jobs either due to economic reasons, personal preference, a sense or purpose or whatever and the traditional feminine responsibilities of keeping the home and childcare must be shared between the sexes. In some ways this is progress and in others it has lead to a lot of problems with in relationships.  Women have much more say in financial matters, (Hell if I earned it, I better have a say in how it gets spent). They are also more vocal about their sexual needs and desires (It’s not all about you guys, sorry!)  And men that would prefer to have final say and a great deal of areas that were traditionally their realm often find opinionated feminine independence to be a thorn in their side or at least more challenging than they would like.  
   
I personally have found that many very dominant masculine men (especially some of the ones I have met on this site) are not attracted to strong, independent women who clearly have their own sense of purpose in life and are unable or do not want to lay down their own sense of identity, needs and desires to serve the man’s every need on his terms. As they say, it is a brave new world out here and communication, negotiation and being fully self aware and able to express your needs and wants are key I determining compatibility.   
   
Ok .. that’s enough for now .. I may add to or revise bits of this in the next week or so but this was what was on my mid this afternoon.   
   
Namaste’ (in short meaning as I understand it: I recognize and honor the Divine within you)  
   
Suzanne  

I enter the candle lit dungeon and see him standing in the shadows, waiting for me. He has promised to make this day, our third anniversary as lovers, partners and soul mates very special for both of us. Moving closer, I kneel at his feet, then gaze up into his eyes and silently tell him all that is in my heart. He can see my adoration and devotion. He can see right into my very soul. He reaches for my hand and pulls me to my feet, then embraces me. He caresses my cheek delicately, then kisses me with intense passion and smiles. “I love you” he says, “and tonight I want you to suffer for me more than you ever have before.” My heart skips a beat and I feel a warm, fluttery tingle rush through my body that turns my insides to liquid. I know in my heart that I want nothing in the world as much as I want to please him tonight and for the rest of my days.

He slips cuffs onto my wrists and binds my arms overhead to chains. Running his hands lightly all over my naked flesh, he warms my skin with his touch, and yet I shiver slightly in anticipation of what is to come. I know and love that he is a sadist, and that torturing me excites him. Yet he is also the most loving man I have ever known, and his gift of pain is one that I cherish whole-heartedly. He strokes my hair gently away from my face, then slips on the hood. The world goes dark and is filled with the scent of leather, as the rest of my senses come alive. I hear soft music and the rustle of flogger tresses, as he selects them from a wall filled with implements of pleasure and pain. I feel a cool breeze on my skin, but my mostly I feel myself slipping into sweet submission. I cannot see him, but I feel his presence as he moves about the room and then is standing right behind me. He moves closer to me, cupping his hands over my breasts and my heart, then lets me feel his body against mine. He is naked now too, and I can tell that his body is deliciously alive and can feel excitement growing within us both. I gasp softly and wriggle against him, letting him know I am ready for anything he wants, anything at all.

He steps back and I hear a soft whoosh through the air… then feel the meaty thump of a thick deerskin flogger on my back. I let my head drop forward and allow the sensation to fill me. Moments later, whoosh whump! Harder this time. I feel my breath leave my chest, I feel a warmth on my back, I feel myself becoming moist, and I feel myself slipping deeper. The flogging continues, gradually building then ebbing, then building again as time passes slowly, like a dream. Heavier floggers massage my body all over, elk, moose, bull, intermingled with deer and even rabbit. My body responds to each stroke, I sway and move with the force of the stronger blows and reach out to take in the lighter caresses. Soon the stingy braided cats begin to turn up the heat to a fevered pitch. My skin is on fire and he cools me with a touch of his hand. I am conscious but floating. He is reading my body and weaving a beautiful tapestry of diverse sensations. He is an artist and I am his canvas, awaiting his magic touch to bring out and create a kind of beauty that only he can.The room goes suddenly silent, the air expectant, I draw a breath and hold it. An incredibly loud snap, like a gunshot fills the air and I feel a puff of air like a breath from a living thing, whisper across my ass. My knees grow weak but my bound wrists keep me upright. The signal whip is fluid and alive in his hand, like an extension of his touch. He reaches right through it and alternates between soft touches, and pinches, kisses and bites. Moving easily around me, my entire body is a target, open and waiting, wanting and needing his sweet and sadistic attentions. He lays a deeper stroke across my ass, I cry out in pain. He brushes my nipples so gently with the fluff of the cracker, then flicks one of them viciously. Suddenly I feel his lips on that sweet tender nipple, a gentle kiss. I purr with delight, then gasp and purr some more.

He steps close to me again and kisses my lips sweetly, then moves the cuff clips much lower down on the chains. I had not even realized how tired my arms were. They feel almost like lead as the circulation begins to return and I shake them slightly to move it along and help the tingling subside. He runs his hands warmly over my skin, feeling the new textures left by his ministrations, feeling heat in some places, coolness in others. He removes the hood, looks deeply into my eyes then kisses me again. He tells me I am beautiful when I am suffering for him and my whole being just lights up with joy. Then he tells me he loves me, but he doesn’t have to say it for me to know that it’s true. I can see it in the way he looks at me even as he torments my body. I can feel it with every cell of my being, and every moment we spend together only serves to make me love him more. He looks deeply into my eyes again and takes a slow deep breath. I draw one too and soon we are lost for a moment, sharing a breath, our eyes and hearts locked in time.I know what is coming next, and I shift my feet a little from side to side then bend just slightly at the waist and continue taking slow deliberate breaths.

He reaches for a cane and I close my eyes. Then I draw a very deep breath, smile and wait. The cane sings through the air and connects with my flesh, sending a white hot flash ripping across my ass. I let out my breath with a loud hiss, and seconds later an incredibly delicious heat spreads like a wave through my entire body. I smile and moan lustfully while wiggling my ass for him, letting him know that was a good one. My breathing slows again and I draw deeply and hold: swish… SNAP! Again, fire blazes and I release the breath with a bit of a scream this time, then await the sweet warmth that always follows closely behind the initial lightning flash. Each time he generously allows me time to process the stroke before, waiting for me to draw that deep breath, signaling that I am ready for another, which he will lovingly deliver. The canes strokes continue steadily, impossible to count. I float away, unaware of time, space, or pain. The world outside this space we share no longer exists. I am aware of nothing at all but my breathing, and the heat building on the surface and inside my body, and that he is with me.He knows me like no one ever has, knows my body, my heart and my soul. He knows I would do my best to do anything he asked of me and endure anything I possibly could for him. He knows that I adore him and I know that he feels the same way. I have never known love as deeply as I do with him. A love that goes far beyond physical aspects of lust and pleasure, a love that transcends pain, but that can use it as a vehicle to reach higher ad higher connections of body, spirit and soul. A love, that can and will endure anything at all.

He delivers 5 or 6 very rapid stingy strokes and I cry out, unable to process them as pleasurable that quickly. My breathing becomes ragged, he delivers several more fast, harder strokes, I struggle to hang on. He presses himself against me from behind and reminds me how much this excites him. I buck against him, wanting him so badly I can nearly taste it, but he just teases me, then steps back and canes me some more.

He wants to push me now. He wants to see how far he can take me, how long will I endure for him past the point of pleasure. He picks up a heavier cane, and delivers an even harder stroke. I try not to scream. I bite down on my lip and swallow the pain. My breathing is loud and faster. Each exhale is accompanied by the sting of a cane, each stroke with more force than the one before. My ass is screaming as I writhe and dance to the rhythm he is creating. The endorphins in my body have been able to keep me aloft for hours but now I am growing weary. I feel I may have reached a plateau, but I don’t want it to end until he is ready to let it. I want so badly to serve and please him. To let him take me as far as he wishes and make him proud of me. I want to make his dreams come true, now and always.He moves his next set of strokes to my inner thighs. I struggle not to cry out in agony but those just feel so brutal. My instincts tell me to pull away but my soul tells me to offer them willingly. I spread my legs a little further and offer him that tender flesh. “Please, please let me hang on just a little more.”

I beg silently for the strength to endure but I feel it slipping away from me. I fight back the inevitable tears but slowly they begin to creep down my cheeks, and he sees them. He stops for a moment and touches my face, gently catching one tear with his finger. “Baby, don’t hold back, you know how much I love your tears” He kisses me again and raises the cane. An indescribable feeling of release washes through my body as the next cane stroke sails through the air then connects with my most delicate of areas, sending me into convulsive sobbing. Not an unhappy sobbing but more like a joyous liberation and catharsis. He continues for several more strokes on my ass, thighs and breasts, helping me to ride out the waves as they crash through my body and then he stops and uncuffs me.We sink to the floor together with him holding me and then he wraps me tightly in his arms as I continue to sob and let my tear filled face lay upon his chest. He takes my face by the chin, brings my lips to his, and kisses me so deeply I feel as if I have melted into him. In many ways, I have.

We have shared sides of ourselves with each other, which most people would never understand and found acceptance and trust. He has pushed me willingly to the furthest reaches on my physical and emotional endurance and trusted that I would not think him a monster for his sadistic desires to see me suffer for his enjoyment. And I completely trusted that no matter how far he decided to push me, he would not harm me or think me weak or subservient in my desire to submit totally to him. We have bared our secret demons for each other and they have brought us closer together than ever before.

We will go down to the bedroom now, not as a Master and a slave, nor a Dom and a sub, but as a man and a woman, equals in every way. We both know that we have shared something truly special, something even many long time “scene” couples never really find. We didn’t just play, we made love in the most intense and intimate way. The heat of my bruised and welted skin, and the fires that the evening fanned inside each of us, will add to the energy that we create and share in together for the rest of the night. We will make love passionately, over and over again, until we fall asleep in each other’s loving arms.Then tomorrow night, perhaps it will be my turn to let my sadistic desires take control as he offers himself up to me to do with as I please. To relish his suffering for my pleasure, to delight in his pain and his tears, and to adore him for loving me the way he does, no mater which of us holds the whip.

Hmm, I have not written anything here in quite some time and I am in the mood for a bit of a rant and saying what is on my mind tonight although it is like 3 am and I probably should just go to bed! I spent a quiet evening at home scanning “CollarMe” profiles of dominants in and out of my area and although I found a few very interesting ones (sadly not many close to upstate NY) I saw a lot of “crap” too. I guess the point of me mentioning this is to say that I really find that well written profiles (with photos) are very helpful in establishing an interest in a man or potential playmate for me.

Furthermore, I find it sad that so few people put much effort into them and then complain that they can’t find anyone “real” there.  I think you have to “be real”  to attract “real” in return.  I also have been getting contacted by a lot of people that do not seem to understand the value of “putting your best foot forward”, by preparing a decent and informative profile, crafting an interesting contact email or attaching a photo that does you justice.

Anyway, regarding profiles, I spent quite a bit of time writing a profile that does a fairly decent job of saying who I am, what my main interests and talents are and what I am looking for in a dominant partner. (and yet I still get dozens of requests from submissive men who wish to be my live in slave, which tells me these “slaves” could not even be bothered to read my profile and that in itself is not terribly endearing.

When someone that has no profile contacts me with a one liner email, I tend to blow them off because it tells me they are not willing to put in the time and effort up front to tell me what they are really all about. I hear a lot that they “don’t want to pour their heart out to strangers” or that they would rather “get to know someone in person”, but to be honest in this day & age I have learned to cut to the chase more quickly so that I can focus on people that I truly have something in common with, rather than have us both waste time and energy in a fruitless exchange.  

Also, please learn to use a spelling and grammar checker! Sheesh people! How difficult is it to copy & paste it to a Word  or similar file and check it before posting it?  You are sending your profile out into the community as a representation of you.  When I see a dominant’s profile littered with blatant mistakes it says to me that: this is a man that has no eye for detail and does not truly care how he is viewed and that is terribly unattractive, in my opinion.  My spelling and grammar are not exactly the greatest in the world either, (and I use my own rules of punctuation) but I am bright enough to know how to get help when it matters to me and I want to at least appear somewhat intelligent!  

Next, regarding photos… I also understand that there are some folks here that cannot post pics in their profiles due to jobs or whatever (and incidentally, since I am so active in the lifestyle locally and nationally, if you have tremendous privacy issues we are probably not a great match to be honest), but for those of you that can at least email a photo.. for God’s sake get a decent one taken! (Granted if I do not find you attractive even in a good picture a fabulous profile will probably not help since I do need to find my mate sexually attractive for an interest to grow.)   
   
In this age of cameras and scanners everywhere there is very little excuse for horribly lit self portraits that don’t actually show what you look like.  And here’s a news flash guys.. I have seen VERY few web cam photos that are attractive even if you ARE good looking. The lighting I usually terrible and most of them look like something from a scary movie or a mug shot. Bleh!  Come on .. you don’t have one single friend or relative that would be willing to take a decent photo for you? I am sorry but that in itself speaks volumes about you and not in a good way.  
 
Finally, and this is a pet peeve of mine.. but I would like to know what exactly does it take to claim expert status on inane things like blindfolds, collars, leashes, hoods, corsets, stockings, cages and gags! Did you actually attend a class on that somewhere and did they give you a cute little certificate for your wall? I mean come on, let’s be real here… you put them on or in and you take them off or out ..  this is not rocket science guys and in my opinion there is no talent, skill or knowledge required to operate many of the absolutely ridiculous things I see “expert” sitting beside in some of the profiles out there! How does one become an expert at receiving a massage? You mastered the fine art of laying down flat and not getting up until it is over?  Wow!! I am soooooo impressed!  LOL!!   
   
When I see expert status next to things like that…. I think to myself .. “this is an insecure, clueless little man that has a need to try and make himself seem more important and desirable by popping “expert” next to as many things as he possibly can”.  I find it sad and pathetic actually and it truly has turned me off some otherwise interesting profiles. So I would like to maybe not so politely suggest to you that you give some thought to the things you are checking off and ask yourself what you REALLY know about a particular subject and is that a talent that you really feel requires or deserves “expert” skill and training in?   Incidentally, even with over 12 years experience as a professional dominant, I thought long and hard before I added “expert” next to any of my interests because I know that there are many people more knowledgeable than I am on any given subject and I am grateful that there will always be something I can learn about everything I love to do and then some. I never want to stop learning and growing and improving myself and my skills and many “experts” I know think they know it all.  
   
Ok .. I am done ranting for the moment and I am going to put my controversial and opinionated little switch self to bed now.. have a nice night. Suzanne  

I absolutely love to have my feet kissed and massaged and pampered! Fortunately, there are a lot of men that have foot fetishes and I am in a line of work where I get to meet lots of very willing and enthusiastic participants. I recall one afternoon session in particular with a very special foot slave of mine. He had requested a session based entirely on worshipping my feet and I happily agreed. He entered the play room and immediately undressed for me and lay his clothes on the rack, then dropped to his knees on the carpet. I approached him slowly, wearing my favorite little short leather dress, black thigh high nylons and shiny patent mule pumps. He dropped his face to my feet and began to shower light kisses on my toes and shoes. I take a step back from him, then walk over to the swing and sit in it so that my feet are about a foot off the ground. I beckon him to sit before me and when he crawls over I place my feet in front of his face. “Open your mouth for me.” I order him and he complies quickly, opening his mouth wide. I slip the front of my foot and shoe into his mouth as deeply as I can and watch as an ecstatic expression fills his face. I wiggle my toes slightly, tickling the roof of his mouth and working my foot deeper inside.

There is now a very visible sign of his enjoyment. I take my other foot and drop it to his crotch, running the tip of the heel along his delicate flesh. He moans deeply and opens his mouth a little bit wider. I pull my foot out of his mouth and order him to suck the heel of my shoe as if it were a cock. He wraps his lips around the spiked heel of my shoe and begins to move his lips back and forth over it. “Lick it for me like a good slut baby.” His slides his tongue seductively along the length of the heel and flicks it across the tip. I feel his cock stir beneath my other shoe and I respond by grinding my heel a little harder into his flesh. I let him go on that way for several minutes until finally I pull the shoe from between his lips and let it slip off my foot onto the floor. I continue to keep my other foot on his cock, pushing down slightly from time to time and listening for his soft moans.

I place the bottom of my foot fully over his face and begin to rub it all over his lips and cheeks and nose. I he specifically requested that my feet be naturally fragranced from a long day in my shoes and I had no problem complying with this request. I see him breathing deeply and inhaling the pungent aroma, savoring it and relishing the warm contact of my foot on his face. I run my toes along his lips and wiggle them till his lips open and then slide the whole front of my foot into his eager mouth. His mouth is warm and inviting as he sets to his task of worshipping my foot, he lifts his hands to cradle my ankle and take more of my foot between his lips. I lean back in the swing and pull my other foot off his groin and let the shoe slip to the floor.

“That feels good sweetie, go on and massage my feet for me now like a good little foot slave.” He lets my foot rest in his lap as he begins systematically massaging it, rubbing first each toe gently in small circles, twisting them gently and tugging on them. Then he continues a little more firmly as he crosses the top of my arch and presses deeply into the sole of my foot. He continues massaging every square inch rhythmically as his talented hands work from one end of it to the other, back and forth, top to bottom and back again. By this time I am moaning softly as I stretch catlike in the swing and begin to relax more and more under his ministrations. I feel all the tension draining from me as he strokes and caresses my tired achy feet, ankles and calves with such care and admiration that it is awe inspiring.

When he finishes with one foot after what seems like ages, he lifts it to his lips and kisses it gently then lets it rest in his lap. Then he begins on the other and gives it the same treatment. “Oh yes,” I think to myself, “this is a person that takes pride in his perversion, a man after my own heart.” I truly love to see someone enjoying himself so much, especially when it also is something that brings me great pleasure. As he works I can’t help watching the look of pure joy on his face and smile brightly myself. “That feels so wonderful baby, you are very good at that!” He beams with pride as I praise him and grins adorably.”Hmm, maybe I need my polish changed on my toes, luv. what do you think?” I playfully wave my toes under his nose for inspection. “If it pleases you Mistress, I would be glad to do it for you.” “Very good dear, go upstairs and get the basin from under the sink and fill it with warm soapy water for me.” He scurries off to do his task as I gather a few items from the cabinet nearby. When he returns I have a pumice stone, nail polish remover and all other necessary items for a proper pedicure, laid out on the floor beside a towel for him.

“Have you ever given a proper pedicure before dear?” “I think so Ma’am, my last Mistress trained me to do it the way she liked it but I hope it meets your approval.” I give him a look of interested appraisal and decide to let him do his best and see what happens.I remove my nylons and rest my feet in his lap as he carefully but thoroughly removes the old polish from my toes. Once this task is complete, I slip my feet into the warm water and sigh softly. The water feels wonderful on my freshly pampered feet and the temperature was perfect. He begins to stroke them softly, letting the heat and water soften the skin on the soles of my feet. After a few moments he begins to gently rub the pumice stone over my heels and the ball of my foot, removing the rough spots and calluses and bringing out a soft pink glow. He worked the bottom of each toe lovingly, holding each firmly as he scrubbed the bottom with the stone. I squirm just a bit and giggle cause it tickles like crazy but I continue to endure this torturous procedure for his benefit alone. (Yeah right! Like I am sure you believe that!)

Once he is satisfied that my feet are as soft as can be, he lifts them from the basin and rests them on the towel in his lap. He begins to pat them dry very lightly and picks up the orange stick so that he can push back the cuticles. I am amazed by the care he takes not to hurt me in this normally somewhat painful task but he still manages to accomplish the purpose quite well.

Then he uses the nippers to carefully remove the bit of cuticle from each toe, but accidentally clips to far on the last toe and draws a drop of blood and a bit of a yelp from me. “I am so sorry Mistress!” He scrambles to wipe the blood from the toe and looks so pathetically crushed that I can’t even bring myself to discipline him for the offense. I mean after all, the poor thing was doing such a wonderful job all along and now he looks so miserable and upset. Geez, I am getting to damn soft hearted.”It’s OK dear, just kiss it and make it better.” He sighs with relief and gratitude that I am not holding it against him as he brings my foot to his lips and intimately kisses my poor little injured toe. His kiss starts softly and delicately but soon he begins to slide his tongue and lips over, under and between my other toes. His caress is passionate, sensual and erotic and before I know it I have forgotten all about the nick in my toe and I close my eyes and lay back in the swing to enjoy some more of his special brand of pampering. It felt great before through the stockings but this was even more incredible. My feet felt ultra sensitive from the abrasion with the stone and the hot soak so I could feel even the lightest caress, even his ecstatic breathing on my flesh.Lost in the ecstatic feelings he is producing in my feet I stay to sway back and forth very slightly in the swing and whisper words of praise just loud enough for him to hear. His tongue works magic on my toes and delicate soles but eventually I realize it is time for him to leave for his business meeting. I gently remind him that he has yet to apply new polish to my pretty toes, and he reluctantly stops kissing them long enough to do so.

When he is finished I inspect the job and find it quite satisfactory, in fact better than some of the nail salons I have visited, but then he labored out of love so I am not surprised. I kiss him gently and thank him for a job well done as he gets dressed to leave. Then tell him that maybe I need to get him to learn to do my finger nails as well. He smiles with pride and thanks me for a wonderful afternoon and promises to return again soon. Some how I know he will and I look forward to it as well.

Your heart begins to race a little faster as you descend the concrete stairs to the dungeon where Mistress awaits. You have fantasized about this moment for a long time and now as you enter the dark basement you wonder if you are really ready to do this. A strange haunting melody plays in the background as candle light dances eerily on the walls, only vaguely illuminating the sinister looking items hanging all over. Your eyes slowly begin to adjust to the dimness as you peer around at your surroundings. Floggers, cuffs, whips, paddles and many other instruments of torture hang neatly from little hooks on the wall closest to you. You try to imagine how each will feel on your skin as you feel your palms begin to sweat. The candles cast a soft glow on a chair beside you that has part of the seat cut away and at least a dozen eyebolts positioned at various places around the frame. Directly in front of you chains dangle from the ceiling and you do not have to guess why. Then you see her sitting on a padded table in the shadows.

“Welcome,” she says in a soft reassuring voice, “you are on time, that pleases me.” She slips off the table and begins to approach you slowly. Her long legs catch your eye as the candle light gleams on her silky black nylons. You see a hint of lace garter peek from below her short black spandex skirt as she moves gracefully, closer and closer to you. Her chain vest glistens over the sleek black body suit that covers her full breasts. She stops in front of you eyeing you appraisingly from head to toe then she reaches out with one long polished nail and lightly scrapes it across your cheek. She turns away with a bright smile, sweet yet slightly evil, and walks over to a small couch and sits down crossing her long legs again.

“Take off your clothes dear and get on your knees.” You get undressed quickly, laying your clothes on the chair and drop to your knees. “Very good… now crawl over here like a good little boy.” Carefully you begin to crawl across the floor on your hands and knees… feeling the scratchiness of the carpet beneath your skin. You come to a stop, kneeling before your Mistress, your eyes downcast, hesitant to meet her gaze. “Come a little closer dear, I won’t bite.” She giggles playfully and goes on to say, “OK well… maybe I will, but that is part of why you are here… isn’t it?” Her voice is playful, not menacing and you must admit she has a point. You are here to explore that thin line between pleasure and pain. To finally live that dark fantasy you’ve kept secret for so long.

You slide forward closer to her as excitement and apprehension build inside you. She leans toward you and gently places her hand on your chin and lifts it slightly so that she is looking directly into you eyes. “Much better dear, now let me slip this on you.” She pulls a leather collar with a ring in from off the table beside her and slips it around your throat. Her hands are warm as they linger on your neck while she snaps the collar snugly in place. “From this moment on till the end of the hour, you belong to me and will do whatever I say. I will not force you to do anything we have not discussed nor will I harm you in any way. Do you understand?” You realize that while she can be teasingly playful and non threatening, she can also be very stern and serious. You gulp, and nod your head so slightly it was almost unnoticeable. Her fingers slowly move from your neck to your throat and then down over your chest, lightly dragging her nails across your flesh till she reaches your nipples. Then she starts circling them with smooth even strokes. “I think that required a verbal response, don’t you?” To emphasize her point she grabs the now hardened nipple between two nails and pinches sharply enough to make you gasp loudly. “Yes Mistress,” you respond in a near whisper. “Excuse me? I couldn’t quite make that out.” She gives the nipple a quick twist this time. “Yes Mistress, I understand!” “Ahh, that’s better dear, now give me your hands.”

You do as she commands quickly this time and she slips a thick pair of leather cuffs over your wrists and binds them tightly. ‘Good, now hands behind your back.” You comply and she links the cuffs together so that you lose use of your hands. “Very good. Now to do something with this…” She toys with your dangling semi hard penis with the toe of her high heeled shoe. “Stand up!” You struggle to your feet as she pulls a length of thin rope off the table and begins to fashion one end into a loop. She slips it over your penis and under your balls cinching it up closely to the body. Then she continues skillfully wrapping and looping it over, around and between your balls so that they are separated but bound closely together. Then she continues up, over and around the shaft of your penis, handling it firmly but gently, tying coil after coil of rope around your most sensitive areas until she has reached the tip.

The entire process takes only a few moments, but as her fingers glide and tug at you while she works it seems like an eternity. When she is through she sits back to examine her handiwork and smiles. The result is a neatly wrapped cocoon, tight enough that you definitely know that it’s there that but so tight that it is uncomfortable or restrictive. Finally she takes another length of rope and twists the end into a miniature hangman’s noose and like the other, slips it over your cock and balls close to the body. She pulls it snug around you, then stands and gives the free end of the rope in her hand a good tug. You wince a little as she pulls a little harder. “Makes a handy little leash, eh?” “Yes Mistress.” She flashes that playful smile again and moves very close to you, her body brushing up against yours as she whispers in your ear, “Open your mouth for me.” You tremble slightly as you feel her hot breath on your neck and she slips one hand around your waist to steady you as she nips lightly at your ear. Your lips part as you gasp breathlessly wondering what else she has in store for you. She tugs the rope one last time and brings the loose end to your mouth, “Say ahh dear.” Your lips open a bit more and you quietly whisper, “Ahh.” Then she slips the rope between your teeth and orders you to hold it tight and not drop it no matter what happens.

“Follow me slave.” She gets up and walks over to where the chains dangle from the ceiling and stands beside them. You follow carefully, concentrating on holding the rope. She unfastens the clip holding the cuffs behind your back and then lifts your arms and binds them to the chains over your head. Suddenly she slips a blindfold over your eyes and the room goes black. Standing behind you so close you can feel the silkiness of her skirt against your ass, you feel her hands and nails begin to caress your body. Gently over your shoulders, a little harder as she drags her nails across your back and down to your ass where her hand lingers squeezing your ass cheek firmly. She rubs in small circles over one cheek then the other, slipping her finger down between them, tickling and teasing. Suddenly, she snaps her hand across your ass, “Whack!!” Bright hot pain briefly runs across your flesh, and you nearly drop the rope in surprise. She pauses just a moment and then smacks again several times, whack, Whack, WHACK!!! Louder and harder with each stroke. You can feel your skin begin to heat up as she continues spanking your ass, over and over, changing the tempo and force of the blows. Moving from one cheek to the other, up and down, back and forth. Your skin begins to turn a nice shade of pink as she abuses it thoroughly.

“Mmm, I love a slave with a red hot ass.” She caresses your tortured skin softly with her hand. Then you feel her body pressing against yours from behind as she rubs against your ass feeling the heat through her skirt. “Ahh yes, very nice, don’t you think so?” Your head is swimming just a little realizing how hot this makes her so you don’t acknowledge her question. Suddenly she grabs a hand full of hair and tugs backward, causing the rope to tug sharply at your cock and balls. “YES!! Yes Mistress, if it pleases you Mistress.” You try to speak while still holding the rope between your teeth. “What would please me more is to see just how much my new slave can take before you call out and beg me to stop. Does that sound like fun dear?” “Yes Mistress, thank you.” She is testing you. You had said you didn’t know what your limits were when you filled out the pre scene negotiation form, and now she is going to help you find out. You bite harder on the rope and try to prepare yourself for what is to come.

You hear her selecting items off the hooks on the wall and walking back behind you. “All right dear, now I am going to start off with some fairly soft to moderate floggers and work my way up to the more severe things as I go. If at any time it gets to intense all you have to do is drop the rope and I will stop what I am doing. Do you understand?” “Yes Mistress.” “Good boy.” You can hear the smile in her voice as she takes a step back and takes aim with the first of her weapons. “Swisshhhh smack! You feel cool, fairly soft tresses of deerskin strike your back. Swish smack! Again a little harder this time. Swish smack again and again the flogger slaps against your skin. Then there is a moments pause and a new material, slightly coarser than the last begins to hit you. It is heavier but not painful as is pounds against your back and ass at least a dozen times. You feel yourself begin a little lightheaded as you slip deeper into submission, but hang on to the rope. SWISH Whack!! An even heavier material slaps against your back, stinging a bit this time. You lose track of the time as you stand in the dark, feeling the flogger strike you over and over again. She pauses and moves close enough for you to feel her against your back again. She runs her hand lightly over your skin feeling the warmth, examining it closely.

“How are you doing luv?” “Good Mistress.” You reply through your clenched teeth. She steps around to the front of you and feels your hands to make sure they are still warm, checking that the cuffs are not biting your wrists at all. “Excellent dear, you are doing very well. I am very pleased with you so far. Now let’s see how you like my crop.” She begins to tap lightly with the crop on your already tender ass. Lightly then a little harder she snaps the crop with a flip of her wrist. She moves the crop down your ass, then smacks the back of your thighs with stinging strokes. Then she takes the crop and starts tapping it between your thighs lightly, signaling you to spread them a bit further. She begins to snap the crop harder and harder all over your body, moving from place to place, slowly at first, then faster and faster, leaving little red marks where ever she hits. The pain begins to get more and more intense as she continues snapping the crop harder and faster on your ass.

Just as it gets to the point that you think you can bear it no more and you consider dropping the rope, she instinctively senses that you have taken all you can bear for now and stops. She places the crop aside and once again begins running her smooth hands over your hot flesh, soothing it. She tugs at the rope and takes it from your lips, kissing your cheek softly. “You have done very, very well dear.” She unfastens the blindfold and runs her nails along the side of your face. She then drops to a crouch position and begins untying the ropes that are wrapped tightly around your dick. Unwrapping it slowly, running her warm fingers over the bumps left by the ropes. She finishes taking off the rope and lays it aside then stands up and smiles at you. Finally she reaches up and un-cuffs you.

“You may get dressed and go now dear.” “Thank you Mistress. That was wonderful.” You pick up your clothes and get dressed, watching her as she gathers her toys and equipment and places them neatly back where they belong. As you begin to climb the stairs you peek over her shoulder and catch her eye as she watches you go, and smiles knowing you will be back.

He closes his eyes softly as he kneels before me, and offers himself to me completely, to use for my pleasure, anyway I wish. He wants no safe word.. no say in what I do to him.. no way to stop me from using him. He wishes only to suffer for my sadistic pleasure without limits or boundaries. Today, he will get his wish… and so will I.

I look at his body and feel the excitement begin to stir. He is perfect in my eyes. His body is lean and muscular but not overly so. His skin is smooth and unmarked, like a fresh canvas awaiting the act of creation, awaiting my touch. He is my symphony waiting to be played, as corny as it may sound: together we will make beautiful music tonight.

I kneel with him and run my hands along his cheek and I look into the most exquisitely expressive eyes I have ever seen. I almost cry with the sheer joy of knowing he belongs to me; body and heart and soul. I kiss him softly, then much deeper letting him feel just a taste of the hunger I have for him. I love him, but I am going to make him suffer sweetly for me, more than anyone ever has.

I place his hands in bondage and pull him to his feet, cuffing them high above his head. I consider gagging him and blindfolding him… but I want him to see me, to see how much I am enjoying using him. And I need to see his eyes and hear him moan as he suffers for me. I start at his hands and begin to run mine slowly down his arms to his sides, across his chest, feeling the textures of him. The softness of his skin, the feel of his hair, the warmth, his heat beat. I glide my fingertips across his nipples and I watch his face, he closes his eyes expectantly. I tease them softly a moment longer, toying with them until they become just slightly erect, then I pinch them.. hard!! 

He gasps softly and lets his head fall back… exposing his throat to me. I run my fingers up to it but move behind him and begin to feel for the pulse in his throat. I place my fingers on both main carotids and begin to ever so slightly squeeze. I pull him back into me and press just slightly harder and I feel his body begin to shudder slightly then relax. I hold just a moment longer and then let my hand slide back down to his chest, still supporting his weight with my body as his consciousness floats back to me and he groans throatily. Oh how I love that sound!

I slide back around in front of him once he is steady on his feet again and take his left nipple gently in my mouth, licking it. Caressing it with my tongue, sucking it, then ever so slowly taking it between my teeth and softly nibbling just the tip. I move to the other side and grasp this one firmly in my teeth and bite down sharply. Again he gasps and moans and I feel his body tense slightly… then relax again. I could get lost torturing his nipples, we both love that so intensely, but there is so much more I want to do to him now. However, before I move on, I grab a set of clover clamps, attach one to each nipple, and then dangle a small weight from the chain. I want him to have something to think about and these should tenderize his nipples nicely for me.

I then grab a thin, 3-foot length of rope and begin to wrap it around the base of his penis and his balls. I twist the rope and draw it up, separating his testicles and wrapping them firmly around front to back, leaving a loop that will tug on his balls from below, creating a slip proof parachute. Then I loop a longer length of rope through the bondage and run each of the loose ends to an ankle cuff. “Spread you legs for me baby,” I tell him and watch his face as the rope tugs at the bondage around his balls, pulling them downward just enough to be a constant reminder. He has told me that he isn’t overly fond of having his balls abused but I know he will endure it if he knows it pleases me. I run my finger nails over the now smooth taut flesh of his sac and can tell it is very sensitive by the way his body reacts. I smile and slip my fingers around his balls and begin to squeeze very slowly, letting the pressure build. I wait for his body to react then squeeze just a bit harder, relishing his pain. Loving the way the feel in my hand, compressing and twisting them, his body writhes and he cries out just a little and I feel myself growing wetter.

I release his balls and begin stroking his beautiful semi erect cock with my nails. It begins to twitch immediately. I kneel down in front of him and take him gently in my mouth. I love the way he tastes, and the way he begins to grow as I slide my tongue teasingly over the tip, and around the crown and finally across that ever so sensitive frenum area. He is so hard for me now and I have an incredible desire to slide him inside of me. I set the swing up so that I can sit in it and have his cock almost perfect height to just slide inside me.. but I leave it purposely just a little low. He needs to spread his legs a bit wider in order to slip inside me and I ask him to do so, knowing this will put more pressure on his testicles from below. I want it to hurt and feel so good at the same time as I use his cock.

At first I slide forward and just brush my now very wet lips against his sweet cock. The skin of his cock becomes slick with my juices as I slide my hips up and down against him, feeling the full length of him slide along my lips all the way up to my clit and back again. His PA jewelry bumps against my clit and sends shivers through my body. I want him so badly! I wrap my legs around him and pull him deeply into me, we both gasp at that first indescribable moment of penetration. I hold him there deeply for a moment, just floating on the sweetness of feeling him fill me. I am still aware that his balls are screaming and that the clamps on his nipples must be exquisitely painful at this moment. I look up into his eyes and see the pleasure mixed with agony and my lust for him grows even more. I reach up, grasp the chain attached to his nipples, and begin tugging just a little as I start to move my hips slowly, so that he is sliding in and out of me. I start twisting the clamps back and forth, as I increase the pace of my hips.

I am so close now, I want to cum all over his cock but he has to save his orgasm for me. I want to make this night last and last and I want to make him suffer for me so much more. I keep a hold of the chain to his nipples with one hand and slip the other underneath to once again grasp those tender balls of his. The rope is pulling on them so hard now and he is struggling to withstand the pain there. I look deeply into his face and I see how hard he is fighting to endure for me as suddenly I feel the first waves of orgasm starting to pulse through my body. I look intently into his eyes and take a deep breath, signaling him to do the same. Then suddenly I rip the clamps off his nipples, pull him deeper inside me, and ride out the waves as he cries out for me. I can tell he is close to cumming too, and that if I am not careful and hold still I might accidentally pull him over the edge with me. I let him pull his legs back together to release the pressure on his nuts. While I fight to slow my breathing and focus my energy back within instead of releasing it, but it is still several moments before I regain composure.

I slip off his still beautifully hard cock and drop to my knees to taste myself on him… licking it all over base to tip, thoroughly cleaning him, then I stand up and kiss him deeply so that he can taste my sweet juices on my lips. I release the ropes from his balls so that the circulation can flow back and let my fingers linger on his cock as his hard on starts to very slowly subside. I drag my nails over his thighs and watch the little red trails that follow them. Then I start slowly smacking his inner thighs and begin moving around him, smacking his ass and the back of this thighs, a little harder with every stroke. I decide his arms are probably getting a bit tired by now (although he has not uttered the slightest peep of protest) and I move him to the corporal bench and attach his cuffs to the eyebolt in front.

I then carefully and methodically fasten all the straps across his back, behind his knees and over his ankles rendering him nearly completely immobile. I run my hands across his warm firm flesh and again relish the texture of his skin. Smooth in some places.. a little hair in other.. the soft fuzzy hair on his delicious ass. God he is so beautiful! I begin with a quick sharp slap to his sweet ass, enjoying the way the flesh moves under my hand.

I smack his ass again and again.. this cheek, then that. Sometimes gently sometimes much harder and sharper. Building the heat.. building momentum, watching as his flesh begins to pink up then turn redder, hotter. My hand begins to sting more and more as I hit him over and over again.. then stop long enough to gently drag my long nails across that wonderfully sensitive flesh. I watch the way his body responds, his muscles twitch, his ass rises slightly to meet my touch. I hit him again and again, cupping my palm slightly, letting my hand wrap around this delicious cheeks of his. The music in the background has a subtle but constant beat. I pick up my leather paddle with bunny fur on one side and begin using the leather stingy side in time with the rhythm. His ass is beginning to glow but I want and need so much more.

I have an incredible desire to see just how far he is willing to go with me tonight. The paddle strikes harder. His body jerks in response. It lands again with more force, he moans for me. I love when he moans for me while he suffers. I switch to a wooden paddle. Lots more thud and less sting. His ass really moves sweetly under it, as I again start slowly, then gradually building speed and pressure. Soon I am whacking him quite forcefully with it and I can see his expression change. He is fighting to hold on, struggling just a bit to take it for me. My heart swells with love for him.

His ass is beginning to show signs of bruising. I run my fingernails over the marks, his ass writhes in response. I pick up St Chris. I look lovingly at the knotted strands of cod line, the beautiful braiding. I let the strands slip between my fingers, knowing how much they sting and envisioning the comet like marks that it makes. I love those marks, and I want to see them all over his body. I take a step back and hold the handle firmly in my hand, enjoying it’s texture, savoring the moment. Then I swing. The fall swishes through the air and lands firmly on his left cheek. I pause a moment and watch as the star burst pattern of the knots appears and then the trail that makes up the comet’s tail. I lean forward and kiss the spot that I just left my mark on. His skin is so hot. I flick my tongue over the area and can taste the tenderness of it.

I step back again and begin flogging him lightly with it, letting the lashes fall like rain, all over his sweet ass. He barely moves although I know he is feeling every stroke. I watch his face closely as I strike him harder. I love his facial expressions when he is in pain. He is so beautiful when he is suffering, just so incredibly beautiful.

I pick up my signal whip. It feels alive in my hand, like a hungry serpent. I let it fly and it’s wicked tongue grazes across his sweet ass with a snap! It recoils to me and I again send it on it’s way with a bit more force this time. Swish… SNAP! He jumps just slightly! He really felt that one. I begin letting it flow back and forth in my grip. A few light strokes, alternating with some moderate ones and every now an then I really snap it hard and watch the angry stripes that rise on his flesh. I pick and choose my target spots. This cheek, that cheek, the back of his thigh, lightly across his balls, back to the cheeks. Soon he has many stripes making lovely patterns on his skin. I run my nails over them lightly and smile. His ass is on fire now and I step behind him and press myself up against him so that I can savor that heat, then lean forward and whisper in his ear that I love him with all my heart.

He groans deliciously and looks at me with those amazing eyes of his. His expression a mix of lust and pain, respect and adoration. I un-cuff him from the corporal bench and lead him into the medical room. I ask him to hop up onto the exam table and switch on the compressor unit that creates a vacuum for the electric nipple suction toys. While that warms up, I attach his wrist and ankle cuffs to the eyebolts on the table and continue running my hands all along his body, paying special attention to his delectable nipples. I swear those little jewels are hard wired to his cock cause as i flick my nails and tongue over them I can see it start to grow and twitch. Mmmm, God I love that! I pull out a few electrical toys from the drawer and slip the suction cups over his hard nipples. Immediately, the vacuum pulls them deeply into the little plastic tubes and he moans again for me. He loves nipple torture as much as I do. I attach the leads to the Erostek unit and begin to slowly give it some juice. The little LED read out begins to flash slowly and I can see him wince just slightly as I bring the volume up to just over half way.

Next I slip on a pair of exam gloves and spread his legs just wide enough to expose his sweet tight ass to me. He was not overly crazy about anal play when we first met but he knows how much I enjoy it and I have found that if I proceed very slowly with him that he seems to accept it willingly. I grab a wet nap and very gently and lovingly run it over his delicate and sensitive little anus. It is cold and he squirms just a bit. I smile wickedly and pop up onto the table with him and lower my face down there and begin toying with him with my hot wet tongue. I very much enjoy rimming his sweet ass on occasion and while it may not be the Dommeliest activity in the world, it certainly gives us both pleasure and that is what matters most right now. I press my lips harder against him and watch his cock jump and grow even more. I add a bit of lube to my gloved finger and begin to very very slowly press and tease him some more til I can easily slip it inside him.

I work it in a little at a time, very very gently. This is not somewhere that I wish to cause him pain. There are so many other delightful places for that. I finally ease one finger almost all the way into him and locate his prostrate. I nudge and tease it and can feel it begin to swell and harden a bit beneath my touch. I add a bit more lube and begin stretching a bit more cause I have something very special in mind this evening. Once I feel he is open enough I take one of the two small flexible electric balls that I have and begin to gently slide it inside of him and position it directly on that special spot. Then, I slide the other inside my vagina nestled up against my G spot and attach the leads to another electrical sending unit called the HotBox. Each of the flexi balls has only one lead so the circuit cannot be completed unless he and I touch. I rest my hand lightly against his cock and begin to very slowly turn up the juice.

I can feel the pulse come on slowly and as I watch his expression… I can see that he is feeling it to. The electrical charge is pulsating inside of me, inside of him and I can feel the pulse through my hand where I am touching him. I take my hand away and it completely stops. I run my fingers lightly across his body in different places and can feel the pulsing begin to surge again, as the current flows between us. I run my fingers across his cock and can see his body jump and spasm in response. Then I get a very wicked idea….

(exactly as the title indicates, no planning or editing, almost no thought to puncutation, just a stream of erotic consciousness from one of my “softer fantasies”)

My lover, my Master, the owner and claimer of my heart & soul woke me gently with sweet kisses one very early morning and asked me to join him in the hot tub. I sleepily complied and followed him into the hot soapy water, I would follow him anywhere any time. He began to gently sponge me all over, caressing my skin with the deliciously rough loofa occasionally stopping to squeeze it and let the hot water run down my body. I turn to kiss him and he pulls me to him, holding me tightly, kissing me deeply, but sweetly, taking my breath away for a moment. I feel my resistance sink and begin to open inside.. as if a layer of armor lifted through my skin with a rush and a gasp of air and for a moment I am floating away while still in his arms.

He releases his hold on me and my body lifts in the tub, I take a deep breath and I float higher as he lightly begins to caress me. I rise and fall ever so slightly in the tub as I draw each breath inward deeply, down the front of my body .. right to my yoni .. I feel her open ever so slightly and draw a breath as well .. energy swirling in a ball in my cave .. some warmly gliding down my legs.. I hold it .. hold it .. floating higher and higher … then slowly, ever so slowly I let it go and the energy rises back up my legs and spine like the surf coming back to shore .. rolling in a wave up the back of my body to my head and it starts to swirl again some spilling from the top of my head into water and beyond.

I let the breath completely leave my body .. surrendering to nothingness … I begin to sink in the tub …. my body falling slowly through the hot water and he caresses me again drawing me back to him… I hear him begin to draw a breath .. calling to me to breathe with him .. I open my mouth and begin to let the air flow back in … drawing that next breath with him….for him …. breathing him in .. the sound of his breath filling me .. HIS breath filling me.. feeling his energy streaming into my body .. mingling with my own … making love as it rushes down the front of my body again and swirling round my belly …. I draw deeper .. and deeper and the breath fills every nook and cranny .. breathing it all in right to the very tip of my floating toes and wait.. and wait .. til I hear him sigh his breath out slowly and sensually letting the wave ride back in and up through my core… his caress is electric.. my body shivers at his touch ..I open my eyes and see nothing but his eyes .. looking into my soul .. looking almost right through me .. this knowing .. steady .. intense & present gaze.. penetrating my heart and soul. I can hide nothing from him … every thing is laid bare by that stare and I know that I was always meant to belong with him and to him.

He kisses me again and we spend the next hour energetically making love in the tub … enjoying the strategically placed jets … doing “wasu” which each other connecting through touch .. through our eyes.. through our breath .. floating and gliding against each other building more and more energy. But he has other plans still for me so he invites me out of the tub and towels off my body … and my hair then he leads me to the massage table. Beautifully adorned like an alter .. flowers and candles …. incense and music .. the room is a temple .. our love making .. an offering to the Divine. He stops and faces me .. placing his right hand on my chest…. I place mine on his and we each cover the other’s with our left …. ours eyes lock in total communion .. with out words I offer myself totally to him . with out words .. he claims me as his own … and then his kisses me again and I feel myself melt again .. yet another internal “kink” falls away .. I feel freer in that surrender than I have ever felt before and then he lays me on the table on my belly.

His warm hands gently fall onto my heart and sacrum and for a moment they just rest there .. his intention… his gifts… his love .. pouring into my body .. into my soul through his hands.. I synch with his breath and slowly his hands begin to move.. gliding across my curves .. my skin a landscape to be explored… he worships my body with his hands.. working my neck and shoulders my back my ass .. down my thighs all the way to my feet. I alternate between blissful drifting and excited fervor .. sometimes drawing deeper breaths as he works me deeper and deeper in the tight spots .. forcing my muscles open to him .. the pain and pleasure begin to blur .. he pounds on me .. he caresses me .. he jabs and he kisses .. a slap .. a tickle and always our breath. He teases my inner thighs .. gently .. lovingly .. inviting them to open … teasing closer and closer to my vulva …. parting my lips gently by squeezing away at the sweet spot .. working … massaging … tenderizing .. making me hungry for more driving me mad with desire for him to touch me “there”. He runs one finger across my lips and a shudder runs through me .. I need him so bad.

Suddenly he grabs a hold of my hair and pulls me up to him .. kissing me roughly one hand still in my hair the other encircles my throat .. he looks into my eyes and begin to squeeze.. I feel a momentary wave of panic as the blood flow slows to my brain but I hear him draw breath and once again I do as well with him .. breathing him in as I close my eyes and begin to see a tunnel ahead of me stretching out into darkness and then quickly closing in .. darkness washes over me but my body begins to convulse with energy.. my legs spread wide.. and begin to twitch and jump .. my breasts rise as I draw breath deeper and sink further away. Some far away part of me aware that he could take my life at this moment but it doesn’t seem to matter…I would gladly offer it to him and anything else he wanted. His hand releases it’s grip and my body contracts in… my legs drawing up wanting to wrap around him .. my arms encircling him .. my body trying to crawl inside of him … not wanting to lose that connection… our lips finally meeting again and our eyes .. lost in each other’s gaze.

He lays me back onto the table face up and crawls on top of me.. straddling me .. beginning to massage my throat and chest .. I open to him further gasping now but trying to get a hold on my breath .. slowing it .. deepening it .. breathing him in and circulating the energy always down the front of my body .. swirling around my depths and then rising again to my head with each exhale. I release the breath fully and he jabs me in my chest .. I draw another short breath . release it and he jabs me again .. hard enough that I feel it in my core .. he begins to work my chest faster and a bit harder .. vibrating my chest as I breath .. opening my core to his loving assault. I begin to moan .. throaty & deep .. the energy rising in a low growl .. waking the lustful animal in my soul .. the animal in me that wants to pounce fiercely upon him one moment desiring to devour him and yet just knowing that he could throw me to the ground and vanquish me with his greater strength anytime he chooses… makes me all the hotter for him. His hands .. slide down my now tender chest .. gliding over my belly and presses on my “g spot back door”. My g spot awakens .. my body jumps and I let out a howl of pleasure thrashing on the table wildly. He smiles at me and grabs a bit of rope.

Within a few minutes I am tied tightly to the table .. my arms at my sides.. a wedge under my ass lifting my pussy high enough for him to reach easily.. my thighs tied tightly open but ankles tied to allow just a bit of movement .. my feet glide together in Goddess position and he stands above me and looks at me with that look that tell me he knows that I am his .. and that he can do whatever he wants to me .. torture me and pleasure me .. use me for his own pleasure and take me to the highest level of my own. I feel a wave of energy .. like a mini orgasm ripple through my body and then his hands drop onto my heart and my vulva. Several more waves crash through me and when they start to subside just a bit he begins to deepen his breath .. calling me to do the same. He begins to massage my outer lips.. teasing them open .. tugging gently on my inner lips .. taking his time .. peeling me open gently like layers of an onion .. teasing around and around my clit but not actually touching it . massaging, tugging and teasing all of my lips but never sliding inside … making me hungrier and hungrier.

Finally he turns his attention to my clit as he wraps his lips gently around it and begins to suckle it.. I scream in delight.. I gasp and moan .. I strain against the ropes .. my muscles flex and release.. flex and release .. I breath into them and feel the tingle of energy building and spreading .. filling my body down and up …. forward & back .. in all directions.. shuddering. He nibbles .. he licks .. he teases it and drives me wild .. my breathing becomes ragged .. he reminds me to breath deeply without a word and continues to devour my clit. His lips.. his tongue .. his teeth .. even his breath caressing and delighting me.. biting and reminding me .. that he is expert at delivering pleasure as well as pain. And I love it all.

He brings me closer and closer to an edge and then shifts and lets the energy fall just a little before bringing it higher again and again. But I need him inside of me. My hips begin to buck rhythmically .. begging him to enter me. He places a hand on my yoni and meets my gaze… bringing me to stillness for a moment .. he looks at me and I feel him ask me without a word if he can enter my temple and my body screams yes and all I can do is smile and let out a sob of joy & gratitude for this man that loves me ravishingly .. respectfully.. lustfully.. and sacredly all at the same time.

He begins to slide a finger inside me and just lets it wander around my cave… feeling the walls .. exploring the terrain .. the nooks and crannies.. the textures .. smooth & rough spots .. he presses up into my g spot and I feel a wave deep in my core rise & crash as he begins to stroke it and milk it .. front to back .. side to side.. up and down .. pressing and stroking and pressing and stroking. I hear the far away sound of moans of abandon and realize they are coming from me. I draw breath and clench against the ropes.. my muscles straining within and without… he presses and probes .. milks and massages .., my voice just spills from within as I release the breath and sing with long wailing mantras of pleasure. I feel the pressure of fluid beginning to build inside of me .. the storms of pleasure and pain and sensation and submission within me producing energy .. which races through my body like lightening and creates “rain” that is collecting and building and filling my belly with sweet pressure. I feel so full I could burst and I yearn to let the sea inside me turn to a river and run freely from me. The rhythmic pressure he is applying draws even more water deep with in me and it almost feels as if it is raging against the banks in my body but some internal dam is holding it back. I growl … I groan … I scream and wail with pleasure and he withdraws his fingers and looks at me with intense lust and sadism in his eyes. I know he wants to push my limits further than he has before. He pops a large vibrating egg inside me .. and tells me he will be right back. I can squeeze down on it and feel it pressing against the ocean floor and the vibration sends waves though the waters .. and spreading into the rest of my body. I breath in deeply down the front of my body and clench tightly as I hold the breath .. then let it all fall away as I release the air and my muscles and just let the waves of vibration and energy swim through my body.

I open my eyes and he is standing over me again .. he had been watching me as I unconsciously gyrated and ground my hips into the pillows and clenched and released my muscles with each breath. I was so hungry for him I would do anything .. endure anything.. offer him anything and everything I am and have or will ever be just to have him not stop making love to me in that moment.

He bent down and kissed me and slipped a long thin rattan cane out from behind his back. A mixed wave of fear, longing, anxiety, excitement, anticipation, dread and sweet hopeless helpless surrender washed through me as I realized he intends to use it on my delicate exposed and vulnerable front. He begins with slow light tapping strokes ..all across the front of my body my upper and inner thighs, my soft belly, my breasts and inner arms … timing them with our connected breath .. each tap tap tap corresponding to the “sip sip ahhh” of our breathing pattern. Tapping, tapping, tapping .. breathing tapping. Slowly he begins to guide me to breathe a bit deeper the strokes start to increase in force.. gradually .. ever so slowly varying in intensity but always building … tap tap Whack! The heavier strokes falling with the release of breath. He guides me and leads me .. he draws a deep breath and waits for me to do so also and then SNAP! he comes down a bit heavier on my tender thighs .. I release the breath and cry out but the heat that spreads through my body like a wave slowly washes away the pain with ecstasy.

He “sip sip ahh” breathes again and draws me back to him .. his breath always calling me back like a lifeline keeping me from totally setting adrift … anchoring me with his love and his presence .. but still allowing me to float from his groundedness and his trustablity. He continues leading me with is breath and timing the harder and harder strokes with my exhales and I lift off on higher and higher on a roller coaster of endorphins, energetic bliss and screams of pain turned pleasure. He pushes me harder and harder and the strokes bring me to my very edge of endurance.. the searing white hot heat of each stroke biting into my thighs … leaving welts and stripes in their wake and my tears begin to flow…. I want to endure for him … I need to make him proud of me … I want so much to please him and let his use me and torture me and hurt me … any way he wishes as long as it makes his beautiful cock hard!!

I look into his eyes and see his love for me but there is also a sense of darkness and cruelty for love’ sake that lets me know that right now it is all about seeing how close to the edge of breaking he can take me. I feel like I am teetering on that edge already.. wanting to cry out for mercy but wanting to see how far he is capable and willing to go .. wanting to surrender fully to his sadistic demons and let them ravish and devour me fully. He draws breath .. I follow.. he holds and holds as I hold with him and suddenly he lands a “camel straw” blow that feels almost as if it could cut through my flesh and muscles .. into my bones. The scream comes from my depths and I release everything I didn’t even know I was holding back and begin to sob uncontrollably. I could stop this at anytime.. I know the magic word and he would respect me and love me even if I “safed” .. there is no shame in admitting I can’t go on any further .. but I want to give him this gift of my complete and total submission to his dark side .. I want him to take me to HIS furthest edge .. NOT mine.

He breathes deeply in .. signaling me that he wants to give me another .. I try my best to take a full deep breath and hold .. consciously fighting the urge to strain against the ropes and close my legs … but rather spreading my thighs more fully open to him and relaxing them for the inevitable that is half a breath away…. then he lands another vicious stroke and waves of utter despair and release wash through my body again .. and I fall away into convulsive sobbing for I know I have reached and fallen over my edge and that he knows it too and will not strike me there again. He runs his nails lightly over my layers of welts and I feel surges of energy from his fingers .. from the tenderness of my wounds .. from the sweet caressing of his hand on my less sore places .. I feel his love for me .. I know he is proud of me and I know .. his cock is hard for me.

Suddenly the energy within me shifts and the animal roars back from within me and I feel ravenous with hunger for him! I beg him for his cock like a hungry slut .. “Master please make me suck your cock .. please …Master… make me your cock sucking little whore! I need your cock!” He crawls up onto the table and straddles my chest .. his beautiful cock glistens in the candle light and my mouth waters incredibly .. he lets me just look at it for a breath or two … savoring the moment.. knowing how hungry I am but wanting and needing to keep me on my edge as long as possible .. he brings it closer.. I strain to lift my head just to feel it on my lips but it is just out of reach ..my tongue reaches further closer and then I can taste his flesh .. and I feel a rush of energy connecting from him to me at the sweet contact point. He lets me run my tongue fully down the shaft savoring every exquisite cell of that silky hard flesh .. I can taste his desire .. but he is in full control of himself and is enjoying leading the dance. I beg and plead and sob wanting .. needing …yearning to taste him to have him inside me .. in my mouth in my cunt .. in my ass .. any and every hole that I have .. I need him to fill me.. to take me .. to rape me …to cherish and love me … deeper than he has ever loved or taken anyone before.

He teases me .. asking me how bad I want it .. taunting me with it .. telling me to beg for it like a whore … I start babbling and pleading .. begging and crying needing him so bad I want to scream and finally tells me in his deepest dom voice to “Open your mouth like a good slut.” I open my mouth wide and look deeply into his eyes as he slides the tip in and I feel the heat of it on the roof of my mouth and tongue .. the delicious taste of his flesh fills my mouth as I breathe him in deeper and deeper .. his cock slides into my mouth and then on to my throat slowly so slowly and I can see in his eyes he wants to give me every single inch .. I try to relax my throat .. I open it wider and wider as he pushes into me and I struggle not to gag and as I feel my lips finally reach the base … my eyes immediately start to tear but I feel a wave of orgasm and energy wash over and through me so strongly that even he can feel the creas and ripples of it right through my chest. He begins to slowly thrust in and out of my mouth .. I open deeper .. my legs spread as wide as the ropes will allow and my throat and mouth become like a second cunt .. or maybe just a continuation of the one between my legs .. I feel him there as well as in my mouth and I hunger for more. I go wild .. sucking and licking and working his sweet cock with my mouth but he can’t thrust deep enough with me on my back .. my throat won’t open far enough at this angle to let him just fuck me open there …. so he quickly unties me and roughly stands me up and throws me down bent over the table and slams his cock into my cunt from behind. I howl with lust filled joy as the head of his cock drives into my goddess spot and sets the sea inside of me in motion again. He begins thrusting into me .. slowly at first .. really focusing the head of his cock into that special place over and over for just a few moments and then he pulled out and picked up the cane again.

Our eyes lock and the lust in mine tells him “Yes, yes.. please God you know I love when you do that! Please … “take me to Tahiti again”. He kisses me and smiles and my heart just skips like crazy .. I reach out to him with my left hand .. he takes it with his … we gaze into each others eyes and draw breath He glances away only to line up the stroke and then penetrates me where I stand nearly pinning me energetically to the wall with the depth of consciousness in his gaze. Time stands still as I hold my breath for that moment that seems like an eternity, and suddenly every feeling and emotion and sensation I have ever felt in my body seems to melt into one pool deep inside of my core and just as quickly evaporated and burst up and through my skin with a shiver. I quickly check in with myself and find: There is an aching fullness in my womb - a warm water fall waiting to flow. There is a fearful flutter in my belly knowing that the pain is inevitable and some frightened fleeting instinct inside me wants to run from it and now! But stronger still is the longing and the yearning in my heart and my soul to fully feel the pain .. to transform it …. and to love right through it. And finally there is stillness in my mind that feels like my ego has floated away and I am no longer separate from him or from the Divine. I feel that nothing could ever destroy this love that I serve devotedly … and there is a sense of calm knowledge and inner peace that says nirvana is at hand.

The cane whistles through the air and connects where my ass and thighs meet and travels straight through to my cunt. I continue to hold that breath as the full impact of the stroke reaches my deepest core. Time again stands still as the waves of energy rebound from my core and come mushrooming outward like an atom bomb cloud and spread and roll through me and beyond as I release the breath with a loud roar. I dissolve into the Divine for a moment … the goddess within me stretches her arms over head and begins to fly but I am barely away of my physical body as it dances and sways and gyrates and moans.

I start to float back in for a soft landing when suddenly he grasps my long hair again and pushes me back onto the table and slams back into me from behind. I go wild inside with the joy of being alive and his chosen one. My animal returns and I start bucking against him like mad .. grunting and growling. Our bodies slamming and sweaty .. gasping for air …. my voice takes flight again as he starts slamming me harder and deeper. I can no longer tell where I end and he begins and the energetic flow that was surging through us has spread into our “outer bodies” and is continuing to grow. Our love energy spreading to fill all time and space with it’s radiant light feeding the universe like a nectar. For me, nothing else exists but this love and I think that I could truly just die into the pure ecstasy of it and disappear forever.

He continued thrusting soundly but evenly as a deep vaginal orgasm begins to emerge and roll through my body from some distant place inside. I feel him teetering on his edge of oblivion and I beg him not to stop. Suddenly, I feel his body melt deeper into mine as he tightens just as he begins to pump me full of his hot, sticky, precious seed. Another orgasmic wave rolls through me just from knowing he has exploded inside me. He grunts and makes those sounds that I love to hear as he thrusts just a bit more and then grasps me tightly and squeezes me so lovingly that I almost cant contain the joy .. and bittersweet -joy filled tears slip from my eyes and roll down my cheeks

We both drop to the floor and roll onto our sides on the big sheepy rug … our limbs entangle them selves …. Our breath begins to slow and we look into each other’s eyes again. The radiance is everywhere .. and water filled womb calls out for release. I smile a little wicked smile at him and push him flat to the floor .. pouncing up and kneeling over his handsome face .. he licks and nibbles me just a little .. teasing his tongue just into my yoni and the waves surge inside me. I press my hand on “the back door” and feel “the barrel begin to tip” … I draw breath .. and as I release it .. I relax the muscles in my womb and butt and everywhere fully so that the river can finally flow from me into his sweet hungry mouth. He drinks deeply from me and as my amrita waters ebb, he holds the last mouthful to share with me in a kiss, because he knows I too love to drink from that well. We blissfully kiss for a few more moments .. gaze lovingly into the windows to our souls but without the walls between us any longer .. the windows have widened to non existence and it is like looking as far as the eye can see in all directions

We head back to bed gently and we spoon .. breathe together and just before we fall peacefully asleep, I think perhaps tomorrow I will be the one ravishing him but for tonight I am more content than I can ever remember being. I have lost track of time and space and have no idea how many hours have passed since he woke me from my dreams. It feels like days .. no longer .. ages.. well .. like there never was a beginning and no way to know when or where it will end.. but I am deeply in love with him and I know I am deeply .. and sweetly loved by him …. and for right now … nothing else matters but that.