Suzanne SxySadist’s Personal Blog

This past Sunday was one of those text book perfect late summer days.  My dear friend Mike C and his girl friend / slave Sheri invited Brett and I out on his boat for a few hours of fishing on the Hudson River.  Mike has a great little speedboat docked out in Saugerties so Brett and I followed him & Sheri on one of his bikes out there and then we tore up and down the river for awhile.

The weather was absolutely amazing and we finally settled into a nice little spot, docked and pulled out some poles to fish.  My sweetie even baited my hooks for me because even though I have no problem skewering a guys balls with a 10 inch long needle, that whole impaling an earthworm thing doesn’t make me real happy.  Umm yeah worm guts under my nails just creeps me out a bit.  But we were all kicking back enjoying the sunshine on the water and having a grand ol’ time but not catching a damn thing. 

We did get a bit of excitement at one point when Mikey laid down his pole for a minute to do something else and all of a sudden it was snatched into the water! Mike quickly yanked his wallet out of his pocket and dove in after it and then realized that the current was too strong for him to swim back to the boat!  We had to go rescue him! Sheri and Ihad never even started a boat before and although Brett had worked in a marina once a very long time ago, he worked with sail boats .. not power boats. Oy! He got the boat started and even got the outboard motor dropped back into the water (thank goodness because Mike says the moto could have burned out very quickly like that)! Then he put the boat in gear and managed to get us down stream close to Mike who handed me the pole (with a damn fish still attached by the way) as he climber back into the boat.  I was trying to reel in our little visitor when the bastard snapped a 25lb test line and took off with Mike’s hook.  To add insult to injury poor Mike (who decided he really wanted a cigarette at that moment) realized his smokes were in his pocket when he dove in after the fishing pole.  Lucky for him he kept a spare pack on the boat and we all had a pretty good laugh in the end as we checked off our mental score card Fish- 2  Us- zip.

We ended up feeding the fish several more worrms by the end of the day, alhough none quite so dramatically as the first but it was a truy lovely way to spend a warm & sunny afternoon in the company of good friends and I look forward to trying to get out there again before the end of the season.  I hope everyone else had a great one too! 

So in my last post I alluded to my thighs being rather messy and promised more info on that.  The short version is, it had been a long time since I had REALLY been pushed hard with pain and I really needed to cry for awhile so this caning was going to be the catalyst for me to release a lot of pent up emotional pain. I asked Lady Catherine to cane me and told her that I really needed to ”go deep”. She understood and was happy to accommodate.  She is a truly good friend and a wonderfully skilled, wickedly sadistic woman. :) It was Saturday night at Floating World.  She asked if I would mind suspending her dear friend Sarah first and I was glad to do so, but I was less delighted with the idea of suspending her high above the dungeon floor and going off to get caned while she was still up there. Domme rule numero uno is that you NEVER leave someone alone in bondage. 

Catherine assured me she had people spotting the scene.  I was still more than slightly hesitant. Ok I was down right a bit freaked out and she knew it, and ohhh she loves to torment me and break rules.  Questions raced through my head… what if I was too high after my caning to get her down safely?  What if she got into trouble and I was otherwise distracted?  What if I was too busy worrying about Sarah to be able to go where I needed to go with this caning?  Then Frazier of The Crucible (who happened to be head DM of the event) caution taped off the area, and parked himself beside us.  I took a breath and knew he had our backs and that Sarah and Catherine and I were all in very good hands. (Thank you so much Frazier!)

Sarah was a delight to rig.  She is slender and flexible and loves to be seen.  I got her up and she began to stretch and spin and twirl “Cirque du Soleil” style in the rope.  The rigging I gave her allowed a fair bit of movement and freedom and she was exquisite to watch, so I did for a few moments. 

Then Catherine and I came together and looked into each others eyes, holding hands.  I took a deep breath and began to cry.  I had been holding it in long enough and it was time to let it go.  I lay down on the massage table (which was covered with my sheepskin.. mmmm yummmm) and settled in for a long sweet caning.  I think Catherine came loaded for bear, <grin> because she did not exactly ease me gently into it, and still I took the intense strokes and wanted more.  She caned me on the table for awhile but said I was “eating those strokes like candy” so she then invited me to my feet and went after the front of my thighs.  Holy shit! That really smarts folks!!  She had me slide into a supported “chair” position using the scaffolding of the suspension rig to support my weight with my arms and she nailed my thighs over and over and over with the cane and I sobbed and wept and howled into the night.  It was like letting some flood gates open and fully diving into the pain. It hurt so much but atthe same time it was so damn good, so cleansing and freeing.  I was flying and crying and connecting to Catherine and saying good bye to someone I loved very dearly all at the same time. 

When we concluded, she brought me to kneeling below Sarah and we closed with a sweet little connected ritual and I was actually surprisingly clear.  I brought Sarah down and unrigged her smooth as silk, cleaned up the broken bits of cane carnage that surrounded us and my Brett helped me pack up and move the table back where it came from.  Then I started to admire the aftermath.  My thighs NEVER looked like that before.  Here it is a full week later and I am still pretty damn colorful.  I was tempted to take a few photos but that sort of thing is only really attractive to pain sluts and the people who mark them. Speaking of which, Lady Catherine blogged about the experience as well on her “Fetlife” journal here: http://fetlife.com/users/905/posts/11164 but you have to be a “Fetlife” member to read it. Ok that pretty much sums it up for me today.  I’ll pop back soon…  Suze

Whew! What a fast paced whirlwind weekend! I am still catching up on my sleep and recovering (I actually think that my thighs will be recovering for several weeks but more on that later). Here are some of the things I remember most about The Floating World 2008 (which I would link to by the way except that they  seem to have already ripped the site down for this year):

Classes! OMG!!  I think the offered total was 146 classes over the course of about 60 hours. Classes started at 2p on Friday and ran all the way until 1130 at night on Sunday! I have always LOVED going to events for the classes.  In fact many times I would wait to register for an event until I saw what classes were being offered and by whom. If I wasn’t going to learn something new that intrigued or excited me, I’d look for another event.  I admit that after 15 years or in the lifestyle and attending national conferences like this for at least 10 years, it gets harder and harder to impress me with a class schedule because many times I glance at one and yawn because I have seen them all before but this event definitely had something for everyone!!  I went to great classes by presenters I had either never heard of or gotten a chance to see before and I finally got to catch several classes by presenters I have been dying to see but never had a chance to get to before due to schedule conflicts.

A few of my favorites were “Deep Connection” by Jim Deuder, “Self Actualized Sub” by Aranea,  ”Elegant Pain” & “Self Defense” by Mojo Daddy,  “Cutting Cautery & Sutures”, by Sir Top, “Anatomy for BDSMers” by Jay Wiseman, “Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional” by Lee Harrington (who Brett and I were delighted to be room mating with), “Emotional Edgeplay” by h Gross (more on Lady Catherine later when I tell you about my thighs).  And trust me, I barely scratched the surface because there were just so many classes to choose from at every time slot and I was teaching my own classes during three of them! So, yes, it was truly an amazing line up of educational opportunities. 

However I do think future schedules could use a bit of tweaking to better line up classes for people interested in particular tracks and offer them a progression of information.  For example, I had several people complain to me that they had to choose between my Adaptable Bondage class and Dov’s rope class that were both at 4p on Friday.   I also noticed that they had an intermediate to advanced whip class on Friday night and the 101 class on Sunday which didn’t make a lot of sense to me.  

Speaking of my classes… they all went great! The first one Friday (Adaptable bondage) had the smallest attendance with about a dozen people (but hey it was Friday at 4p. I think the majority of the attendees arrived after work that night. Saturday morning I premiered a new class called CBT from A- Z in which I ran through the alphabet offering ideas on several dozen types of sensation play for male or female genital and for nipples. Since it was a first run I was really unsure how the timing was going to run and did not get to do as long of a demo as I would like but I got great feedback from many of the 40 or so attendees that said they loved the class so I look forward to offering that one again.   My last class on Sunday was the Ecstatic Caning class and that was also quite well attended with over 40 people (some opting to stay in spite of the standing room only conditions) but it was very VERY hard for me to scream over the loud speaker and music of the pony show that was going on on the other side of the curtain.  I still think the class went pretty well considering but I would have to say my least favorite part about Floating World is … 

The Noise!! Ughhh I wasn’t crazy about this part last time and well, to be honest, it may be the factor that causes me to drop Floating World from my list of events to do next year.  The building the event is held in had very very high metal ceilings and the majority of the classrooms are simply curtained off areas along the sides of the main dungeon area so even though we had somewhere around 30,000 square feet of space, the noise was almost deafening at times! I don’t really know what can be done about the sound quality of the classes rooms in the main space but if I decided not to return to FW to teach next year, this will have most likely been the deciding factor.

The People:  Ok so although the attendees were not unique to FW there sure were a heck of a lot of great ones there.  I didn’t get the final head count but I heard estimates of upwards around 1000 attendees and I wouldn’t doubt it.  I loved seeing so many familiar faces and meeting lots of new folks as well.  One of the highlights for me was meeting for the first time someone who I have been talking to almost weekly since FW07.  She picked up my coaching card at one of my classes last year and we have been friends ever since but hugging her for the first time was wonderful. :) 

I also really just love connecting randomly with folks and offering what ever I can to help them along their journey.  There was one guy in particular who asked me what I thought about the new flogger he had just picked up (his first one I think) and I spent 20 mins or so offering him some tips on being able to better control where his tails land and what sensations he is producing.  It did my heart a lot of good to see how much he improved just from that short little interaction. I really just love spreading the joy!

So all in all I had a truly wonderful time at FW08 and I am going to jump off line to do a coach call and be back later!!!

So as promised, and while the event is still fairly fresh in my head, (and on the eve of my next adventire to Floating World),  I wanted to jot at least a bit of a journal entry about “Thunder in the Mountains“.  I have been in the scene quite a few years at this point and I have been to pretty much every major event on the east coast but for all these years I have heard great things about Thunder and always wanted to go there, and I am so glad I finally did! Everything they say about Thunder is true!

In fact there were so many great things that I hardly know where to begin! The hotel had just had a major renovation and was truly lovely. The staff was courteous and very accommodating of our special group. The event staff all seemed extremely well organized and helpful (other than a slight miscommunication about class room needs which was quickly remedied). :) Whenever I wasn’t teaching I was attending classes by other amazing presenters.  

Some of the ones that most come to mind include two bondage classes by the incredibly hunky Tony Buff.  (pictured here) Oh my God this guy and his boy were hot to watch! I think the eye candy alone was worth the trip but he is also a very talented rigger and presenter with a friendly, good natured style of teaching.  I should be embarrassed to admit it but I was so impressed with him that I came home, went straight to his website (http://tonybuff.com) and actually ordered one of his “art films”! ;)  Mm, I have never sat through multiple hours of gay porn before and it was definitely an enlightening experience.  

Anyway, (deep breath and a cold shower) and back to the event report.. uhh right. :) So I also totally enjoyed a class about how to design assignments for submissives by the lovely Rita Seagrave, one on needles as anchor points and other demented idea by Scott Smith (what a wicked mean sick phuck that guy is!!) <grin> and a class on Esoteric caning by Master Konrahd (another extremely intimidating, towering figure of a man that left a sweet little bruise on me that lasted well over a week with just the tip of a cane pressed into a pressure point! on my chest) :)

There were a bunch of other amazing classes by Midori, Lolita Wolf, Laura Antoniou, Felice Shays, Boymeat, Mark Frazier, and many more which made it really hard to choose what to go to when I wasn’t teaching my two. Speaking of which, I got great feedback on both my “Low Flying Suspension class” (comment) and my “Intention & Connection” one (which I was actually shocked to see almost 50 people at at 930 am on Sunday).  That class (and the Breath Ritual that sometimes goes with it seem to touch people more deeply than any others that I do and I adore some of the comments I get on my feedback sheets and via email from attendees. It is an amazing feeling to know that one class can have such a huge impact on someone.

Okay next, well the dungeon at Thunder was MASSIVE! Like unbelievably so!  I think someone told me it was like 50,000 square feet but I can definitely attest that there were tons and tons of plays stations in the main part of the dungeon as well as men only and women only play spaces. My only wistful wish was for a couple of the standard 4 by 4 suspension frames, although there were quite a few 11 foot tall scaffold set ups and 2 fairly short suspension tripods.  I really enjoy the standard frames because I can easily transition from a spread eagle standing corporal scene into a partial and then full suspension

Brett and I played fairly roughly both nights and I cannot even begin to say how much I have grown to love beating that sexy man up.  I also got to finally meet and throw some whips at my buddy Drew for the first time Saturday night which was truly amazing fun.  His wife Shelly is an absolute sweetheart too and they look so cute together!  One of my other favorite parts of the event was getting to connect a bit more with Jeanie who I know through her partner, Mark Yu (who I love to play with on occasion because I adore the way that evil sadistic prick hurts me). Jeanie is an absolute doll and she just has one of those beautifully genuine smiles that makes you want to just hug her for a week.  I would so dearly love to schedule a week off next year to go and visit them and a few more of my Texas based friends. 

Whew, ok .. so yeah did I mention Thunder was awesome??!! Well, it was and I would dearly love to be invited back to present at them again next year but even if not, I think I will start saving to budget that one in anyway.  Hell my buddy GrayDancer commented that it was weird being at an event as a civilian and not preseting but it seems to be the consensus that if you are going to go to one and NOT be presenting, Thunder is on the the best to do that at!  Actually I feel that it is one of the best events of the year by far!  Now I am going to get back to packing for The Floating World which is coming up fast!

I have been a bit numb off and on for the past week or so since being told that my former love and partner of 6 years passed away after a long battle with cancer on or about Aug 1 2008.  Although he and I split up and went our seperate ways about 5 years ago, he has never really been completely out of my heart or even my thoughts for long. 

Friends I haven’t spoken to in ages have been calling me all week to see if I am alright… and yes, although I am sad and I will definitely miss him, I moved on with my life a long time ago. Ok, the truth is, I never really stopped loving him and I have spent a fair bit of time this week remembering him, missing him, and wishing I had had one last chance to hug him and tell him what a special person he is, and what a wonderful part of my life he was and how fondly I will always look back on the years we spent together. And I would so just want to thank him for the gift he was to my life.  Nelson touched me in ways no one ever had before and I loved him deeper than anyone I had ever been with. And when he left, he helped me learn that I was far stronger and more capable than I ever would have believed so even in his absence he helped me grow as a person.

He was an amazing man on so many levels and part of me still cannot believe he is gone. But, I am truly grateful that he is no longer suffering. I’d never want to see him hurt, unless I was intentionally and consensually doing it that is. ;) Farewell sweetheart.. and rest in peace.