Suzanne SxySadist’s Personal Blog

The life & times, ups & downs and general musings of a professional sexual sadist.

April 23, 2009

Bondage and Tantra - A match made in heaven?

Filed under: Adventure Reports — Suzanne SxySadist @ 1:36 pm

About a week ago I received a lovely introductory email from a Daka (male Tantra healer) who works primarily with women, who was contacting me because he wanted to learn more about bondage and pain exploration as it relates to moving energy.  I was naturally more than a little intrigued!  I have met other ”het” male practitioners over the years, but very few had any real interest in BDSM and Goddess knows I will take pretty much any opportunity to share rope with people .. especially sexually adventurous and spiritually aware people! 

I offered to meet with him “off the clock” for a relaxed exploration of whatever presented itself.  It was a glorious and delight - filled adventure that spanned approximately 6 hours in all. Yes he was handsome and had a great body, but it was more than his physical self that was attractive… it was his presence.  He was completely in the moment with me as I demonstrated some rope basics for the first 2 hours or so. He was also a very quick study and explained he had had previous rope experience in another capacity which made him quite comfortable with it both in bondage and handling it. But mostly I kept the lessons fairly academic… showing a tie .. letting him practice it, but not delving deep into the experience. I showed him about all he could absorb for one day and we took a bit of a break. 

He was really easy to talk to and I gave me the feeling that I could be open and honest with him so I shared with him about some thing that had been causing me some emotional distress recently and he gave me space to vent and hurt and then offered to do some energy massage work with me. I readily agreed and lay down on my sheepskin and surrendered to his touch.  He was absolutely amazing and I  luxuriated in the warm touch of his skilled hands,  lost in blissful and delightful sensations for nearly 2 hours! I truly wish that everyone could experience that sort of bliss at least once in their lives. :)

Afterwards I felt renewed and more content than I had for a few weeks and maybe a bit turned on as well and so I decided to throw some rope on my new friend and give him a little bit more intimate look at what I love about rope.  :D He did well! He is very strong and flexible and he knows how to breathe and dig down to his core for strength and endurance and although I probably was a bit easier on him than need be and stayed at a rather surface level of play .. I had a very good time with that introduction and I think he did too.  I tried a fairly challenging predicament bondage on him and a partial suspension and a bit of a cross limb hog tie sort of thing all mixed in with some sensual and not so sensual touch.   I also made sure to send him home with a couple of cane strikes as a souvenir since his lovely rope marks were fading far too quickly.

We have both agreed that we would enjoy getting together again, I only wish he wasn’t 2.5 hours away. <sigh>  Ahh well, something to look forward to.  In the meantime .. he is a link to his website: Tantrika Lover.  I highly reccomend his services.  :)

April 21, 2009

Classes and more classes …

Filed under: Adventure Reports — Suzanne SxySadist @ 7:13 am

A lot has happened since I stopped by last, so let me try to give you the highlights in a nutshell!

Darkstone- My second trip to New Hampshire was a delight! My friend Dez is a fabulous host and and he definitely took really great care of Brett and me! There was great food including a succulent ham, deviled eggs, carrot cake (all good Easter Fare) and even some sushi (my favorite)! There was a good size gathering of people for both classes even though both topics are rather edgy: “Needle Play the Basics and Beyond” and “Breath and Blood Flow Play”.  After the classes it opened up to a play party and I spent a little time giving some more personal instruction on a couple of ropey things.  Dez did a beautiful side lying suspension on Jillian. He has really thrown himself into learning rope and it is just amazing how good he has gotten in just over a year!  A bit later in the evening he invited me in on a double top scene involving two wonderful ladies.  It was so much fun to co top with him for the first time and to just be in the moment reading their bodies and responding to their energies.  Afterwards I got to suspend and play a little with my sweetheart Brett.  I really love that guy, especially in rope! And the low to the ground suspension has truly become my favorite for obvious reasons to anyone that watched us play. <blush>  :)  Even later on there was a really beautiful fire spinning demo outside on the lawn which was a delight to watch.  There was also a memorable single tail scene where the bottom danced and moved so beautifully at the end of her Master’s whip…it was really just stunning!  And to round off the evening for me I helped dish out some birthday spanks for the lovely Lady D!  Mmmm  what a great night! We slept like stones and then were treated to a delicious Easter Sunday breakfast before the 4 hour trek home. 

l_a18d13509a8647b7a5f04048bbc217ddVassar- A few days later I was at Vassar College once again teaching a basic bondage class to the students.  Brett came up from the island just to be there and we took my niece Nadia along so she could meet a few more people in the area her age.  It was a small but enthusiastic crowd and I offered them a nice selection of simple but useful ties.  I even got to use my niece as a bondage model for a few of the ties and Brett snapped this shot of her for her My Space page. I am not sure what photo-shop tool she used to make herself look so ghostly but it was still a fun memory and I asked her not to tell her mom just yet.  :)

When the 3 hour class was drawing to a close I offered to set up a monthly “rope club” to meet in my home where we could continue to practice and build our skills on an on-going basis and got a list of about 10 who said it sounded like fun. :D Perhaps if interest in that grows I will eventually find a larger venue to hold the class in and open it up to even more area bondage lovers.  If you have any interest in such a one Sunday a month .. drop me a note at Mistress@SxySadist.com

Shibaricon- Hmm, what else? Ohh well speaking of classes that has been a late bit of shuffling for Shibaricon and I have been asked if I would be willing to do my “Binding the Jewels” class (which is one of my favorite classes to teach) so I said yes but dropped one of the two suspension classes I was going to do and am keeping the “Low Flying Suspension” class. Three classes is plenty for me at an event and Diana wants me to still keep the ever popular “Ecstatic Breath” class.  I want to be able to attend as many classes by other presenters as I can too!  I love learning as much as I can about rope from as many people as I am able. Just about everyone I have ever seen teach a rope class has something unique to share, some little thing that they do that is special or different and I just love picking up those sweet little tips and tricks! :)

AIS COPE- Speaking of classes and events, I have confirmed with Barak & Sheba that I will be attending and presenting at “Adventures in Sexuality - Central Ohio Perversion Excursion” AIS - COPE for short Sept 11 & 12 in Columbus Ohio! I will be doing “Binding the Jewels” and “Learning to Fly - Ecstatic Percussion Play” which is about using your breathing during a corporal play scene to take you higher and further than ever before. :)

Ok that mostly catches us up… I had one other sweet little adventure that I will share about separately soon.  ;)

April 6, 2009

Rope Selection Essay

Filed under: Essays & Tutorials — Suzanne SxySadist @ 8:34 pm

Suzanne SxySadist I started this article last year and dropped it into a draft folder where it was forgotten for quite some time.  I came across it this week and decided to dust it off and throw it out here.  I welcome comments on it.)

Speaking of rope … a while back when I christened my new batch of flax from Madame Butterfly on “slave t” I alluded briefly to some rope characteristics and how they sometimes contribute to my rope selection for a scene. This is not something I have ever bothered to delve deeply into in the bondage classes that I teach, mainly because I think that a lot of my views here are highly subjective. What works for me in a given scenario may not work for the next person, or even for me again on a different day, with someone else, if the wind doesn’t blow just right. 

I guess, what I am trying to say is that there is no exact science or step by step recipe to the alchemy of a great rope scene that will work every single time in any given scenario, and honestly, would anyone really want that?  Isn’t a bit of fiery and passionate unpredictability part of what makes a sexual encounter hot? If getting laid ever became nothing but a paint by the numbers exercise, I would hope the human race would finally finish itself off.   

However, I do realize that some general guidelines that I use in selecting rope could still prove to be useful insight for someone who may be new enough to not have formed opinions about such things, so I hope this article will be helpful to some folks and that it is not purely mental masturbation. (Not that I have anything against masturbation, mental or otherwise!) :)

Though I do not believe I have ever been known for delivering clear concise essays especially when the topic at hand drifts into the realm of “woo woo” (which is a catch all phrase I use for anything having to do with energetic connection and other intangibles that have to be felt rather than described in concrete terms), I will do my best to stay on topic and keep this as simple and direct yet thorough as possible. Please keep in mind that everything I am about to say is entirely my opinion and as such your mileage may vary. 

Rope Slut - I am definitely a Rope Slut and I am also a compulsive shopper so at this point I own a HELL of a lot of rope from a wide variety of sources.  Although I do not NEED any more rope, I always enjoy checking out new rope and vendors even if only from the standpoint of what uniqueness it may add to an experience.

Personally, as a top or a bottom, the more my senses are fully engaged in an experience, generally the fuller and often more satisfying that experience will be. I believe that a creative top can use different types of rope to induce specific effects in a scene similar to an artist using color to paint or a composer uses different instruments in a piece of music. Let’s think about the various senses and how they can be affected by various rope characteristics:

A sampling of rope. Look–When I consider how rope bondage looks, I see it as having at least two distinct and separate layers. 

First, there is the look of the actual tie. Things to consider are: how neatly the bands are laid against each other, do rope twist or cross each other, does the tie snugly grip the body or do the bands shift around loosely on the skin, are the ends left hanging, bunched up and shoved away or meticulously tied off? Is the over all effect symmetrical? Does it complement the individual’s physique, etc?  

But there is there is  also the look of the actual rope itself to consider.  Each material (hemp, flax, jute, silk, cotton, nylon etc) has its own unique appearance and then there are the construction whether it be braided or twisted, thickness and color to consider as well.  I will get into these aspects separately in a moment. 

Honestly there are times when the visual appearance of the bondage is more important to me than others. If I am doing a photo shoot, I naturally want the rope itself as well as the tie I am creating to be neat and pretty, but there are times when the intention of the scene is less about the visual and more focused on other things, like the energy exchange, the dynamics and sensations we are sharing, and how damn horny we are getting, so at those times my ties tend to be a bit faster, messier or “dirtier”.  

I personally often find “messy ties” to have a greater “sex appeal” than perfectly executed and meticulous ties on bored to death or otherwise disengaged models.  There is something really hot for me about the urgency of a “dirty and fast tie”, although my partner Brett reminded me that a slow meticulous tie executed with delicious sexual chemistry and a delightful teasing build up can be pretty damn hot too.  However you prefer it, the bottom line for me is that the real juice is in the intention and the energy of the scene and its participants not just in the visual aspects of the rope work.

To illustrate this,  these days when I am doing full or partial suspension bondage with my lover in our personal play, I often use a combination of silk for comfort and hemp for strength, even though the ropes do not actually look that great together.  At these times, I care more about what  am trying to accomplish than I do about how the bondage looks, and I find that using the silk for chest wraps under the arms and then adding a band of hemp over the arms gives me the strength I need while keeping him as comfortable as possible and able to stay in the tie even under other heavy physical duress (translated to: while I beat him with a really big stick).  :)

My Brett in Red When I am focusing on the visual aspects of a tie for a  photo shoot (as opposed to a scene) I will begin by making sure my ropes match and if I decide to use hemp for example I will use only hemp that visually matches and not different colors, thicknesses, and textures. I will also pay much closer attention to the symmetry and other visual aspects of the tie like deciding how many wraps it will take to create a band on the body so that it looks properly proportioned.  

As for the use of color, I enjoy using brightly colored rope in certain situations for various reasons: to match a models skin tone, hair, accent clothing, create dramatic effects etc, but I more often than not prefer natural colored rope. First off I am a bit of a perfectionist and I hate that most dying processes do not color the rope all the way to the core.  :P <bleh>

Furthermore, I feel there is something intrinsically and transparently beautiful about natural fiber on naked flesh. I love finding and appreciating beauty its simplest and purest form whenever possible these days. Even natural ropes come in a variety of shades from snow white bamboo, off white creamy silk, jutes that lean toward golden wheat like colors and the hemp I have tends to be a nice neutral tan which works well on most skin tones for me. 

In addition to the color of the rope another thing I tend to notice is how well the ropes’ finish catches light. Some of the smoother textures tend to reflect light better than others.  For example, most nylons have pretty high shine and some of the softer “grassy” ropes have a lovely warm sheen to them. Those of us who really appreciate beautiful rope photography will want to pay special attention to this quality as it can make a big difference in the photos.

Feel – Texture tends to be very important to me. When I touch the rope with my hands I am naturally feeling the texture of it as I glide it through my hands and over my fingers because I want to know how it is going to feel when I drag it across the bottom’s flesh. But, I also pay attention to a few others things such as the “burn speed” which is the amount of friction the rope creates as it drags across the skin. Many people are surprised to find that nylon rope which can feel smooth to the touch actually gets hotter faster than most natural fibered ropes such as cotton, hemp, jute or silk and thus is said to have a lower burn speed.

I also am often aware of the temperature of the rope as it goes onto my body. Not necessarily temperature as in was it stored in a warm or cold room or not (although that is naturally a factor as well because I truly dislike being cold) but I tend to find smoother textures often feel cooler than coarser ones even if stored in the same location and some materials seem to warm to the body quicker than others. For example, I almost always find braided nylon ropes to feel cooler than most twisted hemp and silk usually feels the warmest of all in my rope basket.

Another important factor I will include here (although these are more functional characteristics than an aesthetic feature) is how much stretch and compression the rope has. If I am doing a full or partial suspension I need to know whether the ropes are going to stay where I place them or stretch and shift more than will be comfortable or safe. A bit of stretch can be very desirable under certain circumstances and not good at all for others. I am especially fond of Madame Butterfly’s silk in this regard because the silk stretches enough to “breathe” with the bottom which can be very handy for some situations, & gentler intentions but it is not generally suitable to use for the main support lines in a suspension.  

I am a reasonable enough sadist to understand that if I use rope that a sub won’t tear themselves to bits struggling in, I can keep them tied up longer tormenting them in other deliciously cruel and devious ways.  As mentioned earlier, my Brett has lasted much longer in full and partial suspensions when I use the silk for the base wraps AND I have even been able to suspend him day after day without him feeling overly tender from the rope abrasions and contusions.  I also adore the silk for sensual bedroom bondage when I want to be able to struggle or pull comfortably against the rope.

Part of its charm for me is that silk allows for a great deal of compression. The best way I can describe what I mean by compression is for me to have you imagine you have two fairly bony places tied together with a cinch between them and a bit of weight on the area. A dense rope that won’t compress will dig deeper into the flesh and cause more discomfort under this circumstance than one that has a lot of compressibility and give to it. For times when I am tying bony areas in close proximity and I want to insure either more comfort or less marks I will grab either a very smooth soft nylon or the soft spongy raw silk. 

There are also days and instances when I crave the scratchier, coarser feel of some of the rougher grasses, but not often. I have some brand new jute for example that I bought from the Monk over a year ago and have only used once or twice because it is just so rough on the skin. Yes, I know that if I used it more often it would begin to soften but there in is one of life’s sweet ironies that it won’t get soft enough to use until you use it a lot so I tend to leave it in the basket and grab something that is far more usable now!

Smell – The sense of smell is absolutely connected to sexual response on a primal level and many bottoms get turned on just smelling certain kinds of rope. Each type of material has its own unique fragrance and can elicit different responses. In particular I love the natural scents of hemp, flax and silk. I am not overly wild about chemical or petroleum scented ropes.

Sexy chicken wing tie I tend to tell the story in my bondage class that the smell of natural rope is hard wired to sex for me because my first orgasm as a kid was climbing the thick ropes in gym class! (I was very good at rope climbing). ;) On the other hand, I find the smell of silk to be very comforting to me because I associate that scent with my mother who went through a phase of wearing raw silks shirts that I used to borrow fairly often.  The point is, because of the place it gets stored in your brain, scents can be one of the easiest senses to exploit and one of the longest lasting associations to make. 

Taste – Yes even taste can come into play in particular if you have a tendency to play with rope gags. Some ropes swell more than others when wet which you may want to consider as well if you want to make sure the submissive can still breathe freely.

While here it bears mentioning that some people have allergies to the natural fibers of hemp or jute and if in doubt it would be good to check before shoving a big wad of it into their mouth. ;) For more info on the use of gags & blindfolds I have another essay elsewhere on the blog: Blindfolds & Gags 101 and then some! 

Sound –Ok, since rope all by itself tends to be pretty quiet, this one is not a major player for me but it the truth is when a submissive is blindfolded all of their other senses become heightened and if I close my eyes right now I can hear in my head the whispering friction sound of rope whooshing or whirring across itself, the snap of it slapping across my flesh, the ground or the rig (which also relates to feel) and the creaking sound it can make when you are suspended.

Ok that is about all I have to say at the moment .. if I think of anything else to add I will edit it in later.

Yours in rope .. Suze

Upcoming Classes…

Filed under: Adventure Reports — Suzanne SxySadist @ 11:55 am

At SELFI have been taking a 6 month sabbatical from teaching to rest and catch my breath after the last couple of years of insanity on “the circuit”. Travel is simply not as much fun as it used to be and it can get pretty crazy packing, traveling, teaching, playing, travelling, unpacking, and starting all over again several weekends a month so I guess I got a bit burned out from it all, so I decided to just take a nice long rest. :)

But spring is in the air (even if that air is pretty cold & wet today) and I have several classes and event upcoming in the next 2 months that warrant a mention.  First up, next weekend I will be in New Hampshire teaching two private edge play classes for my friend Dez and the awesome folks of “Darkstone”. I will be doing my “Breath and Blood Flow Play” class and “Needle Play: Basics and Beyond”, then staying over for a private play party and coming back home Easter Sunday. :)

Next week, I am once again doing a “hands-on, clothes-on bondage class” for the bright young students of Vassar college sponsored by CHOICE. Their mission statement is as follows:  

CHOICE :  (Campus Health Organization for Information, Contraception and Education) 

Our mission is to educate the campus about sexual health issues by distributing information about pregnancy, STIs, and contraception and to help to promote safer sex by providing free condoms, latex gloves, dental dams, and lubricant. We are a confidential and non-judgmental organization.  We believe that safer sex and sexual health education are integral to creating a sexually healthy and informed student body at Vassar.”

Also at SelfI love that Vassar is so progressive and allows the students to have such a fabulous and helpful organization! They also have a campus porn magazine called “Squirm” and it is really well done!

Anyway, I have quite a few birthdays to contend with in early to mid May and then my sweetheart and I will be heading off to Chicago for the better part of a week to attend my absolute favorite event of the year! :D

I know I have mentioned Shibaricon here before but if you like rope bondage and haven’t been to this amazing event you need to stop what you are doing right now and click this link to visit their site.  Shibaricon (Go on. I’ll wait) :) Time is running out to register so get moving! More info follows: 

shibaricon_header_09_banner
Shibaricon
May 22-25,2009
Chicago, IL USA

Have you registered yet? Time is running out!

You’ve seen the announcements… you know the drill… here’s the recap…

4 days filled with over 85 classes by some of the best rope educators around including Lee Harrington, Claire Adams, Lochai, Sir C, Mike West, M. Yu, Taipan, Mark DV8 House, Jay Wiseman, Dov, Tatu, Scott Smith, Graydancer and many more! Please check shibaricon.com for details and schedule updates.

Vendor Mall where you can buy rope, toys, corsets, shoes and equipment.

3 nights of play in our fully equipped space, including equipment by Bonds of Steel.

Special events including a meet & greet Thursday night where you can meet presenters & get to know your fellow attendees, Opening & Closing Ceremonies hosted by Psychokitty, a performance by Mike West and Graydancer’s Cabaret.

Our home is a beautiful hotel near O’Hare airport with great amenities, a friendly service oriented staff, free airport shuttle and much more. For those of you looking forward to taking a few hours to shop at IML, our hotel is located walking distance from the train to downtown Chicago.

Day Passes are available but they must be purchased before registration closes. The hotel is filling up and registration closes soon. Don’t be left out! Please go to shibaricon.com and click the registration and venue links for details.

Join us for a fantastic weekend filled with education, fun and friendship. Come find out why Shibaricon has become the can’t-miss event for so many rope lovers from all over the world. Check shibaricon.com for details and updates. We hope to see you there!

Thanks,
Diana & The Shibaricon Team

April 2, 2009

Will I live to see 80?

Filed under: Just For Laughs — Suzanne SxySadist @ 10:33 am

Aren't you glad you aren't a mayfly? Here’s something to think about. . . ..

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well’ for my age.  A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’

He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’
‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’

Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’
I said, ‘No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’

Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’
‘No, I don’t,’ I said.

He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’
‘No Sir! That stuff is dangerous!,’ I said

He looked at me and said,….. ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?

– The moral of this story… Life is way too short to not live it to the fullest so get out there and have some fun!

April 1, 2009

The sincerest form of flattery??

Filed under: Personal Reflections — Suzanne SxySadist @ 1:30 pm

Suzanne SxySadist Imitation is one thing but identity theft is quite another! It has come to my attention that there is someone using my photos as their own on a couple of the kink personals sites, and I do not know whether to be annoyed or flattered!  :) 

I suppose that I could take it to be a compliment that of all the millions of photos available on the web .. that s/he chose to use mine and those of my dungeon space, but It was actually a bit creepy and I am not sure what s/he was actually trying to accomplish.  I mean I thought that the point of most of these sites is to find like minded people and eventually to meet so what would be the point of using someone else’s photos if you are only going to be found the moment that you do?  

The CollarMe profile was still up last time I looked: http://www.collarme.com/details.asp?v=844713&bhcp=1 and she not only was using my image <shown right> but all of the other pictures of the dungeon space and equipment is stolen from my website!   The FetLife profile is down now but it included 33 pictures,  26 of which were of me or my dungeon! Amazing!

I actually cracked up a little because as someone I know pointed out .. I am fairly well known and recognizable in the scene at this point and it isn’t like this person could have gotten away with it for long but according to the profile I copied below she was busted in only one day after the profile posted!! <LOL> The cyber ink wasn’t even dry yet! 

Hell, I rather wish I was 39 and only 165 lbs again! Ahh well, I am sure it wasn’t the first time my pics have been stolen nor will it be the last.  Such is the price of such beauty eh?  :)  Have a great week!     

User Name:

Description:

City:

State:

Height:

Weight:

Age:

Orientation:

Ethnicity:

Joined:

Last Online:

 LadyyVictoria

 Dominant Female

 Delafield 

 Wisconsin

 5′6″

 165 lbs

 39

 Bisexual

 Caucasian

 03/30/09

 04/01/09

 

I just recently moved back to Wisconsin after being away for 15 yrs! 

My dungeon is now finished and I am looking to add, I have a 10,000 sq foot play space fully equipped.

 

I am looking for female and male subs (part Time) to add to my play time. I would also consider a Mistress or Master to work in my Dungeon. I currently have one male sub, one female sub, and one female switch. 


If you would like me to consider your services, write me a detailed email including a description of you and your limits, and the list of things your into!

 

Anything less then a paragraph will be deleted with no response!
Check out my profile on Fetlife.com also same screen name