Suzanne SxySadist’s Personal Blog

Last Thursday was my sweetheart Brett’s 49th birthday and I was feeling even more sadistic and dominant than usual and decided to push both our limits just a bit. 

We have experimented in the past with short term chastity but to be honest, I really LOVE sex with my boyfriend and rarely deny myself for very long ~ so I almost never leave him in chastity longer than a few hours when he is here with me .  Although I have a variety of chastity devices that are not intentionally designed to be painful such as the cb devices, being a sadist at heart I totally love the concept of chastity with teeth as mentioned in a previous blog post. 

However I am also practical enough to realize that if I intended to keep it on all weekend, and I did, I might want to do so with the least amount of damage possible, since I am rather fond of that pretty cock and it’s keeper.

I opted to use the Club Femme MCD - Male Chastity Device .  Although it is a little tricky to weave the zip tie in and out of the device to get a really good tight fit, I can tell you for a fact that once in place it is definitely secure enough to stay there.  Brett quickly discovered that it was not coming off without tearing up some delicate flesh in the process. 

He also discovered very quickly that even though he could still get a rock hard erection (albeit with a bit of encouragement from me and a fair bit of un-comfortability) there was no way he would be able to reach orgasm because the short closely spaced little points were just too damn sharp and discouraging. 

Ohh what a delicious time I had trying though!   I locked him in on Thursday afternoon and proceeded to tease him off and on for over an hour.  God I love the sexy way that man squirms for me!  Friday morning I woke up horny and ordered him to orally service me for awhile.   Although that act is all about my pleasure, is sure works for him on some pretty sexy levels too and next thing I know his poor cock was once again being spiked and poked in all directions at once and he was making those really sexy pretty noises for me again which totally work for me!  :D

He stayed in that sweet little device the rest of the weekend .. including  all through the rope club gathering on Sunday.  By Sunday evening though he was respectfully asking if it would be possible for me to take him back out so he could see what was left of his cock before he goes back to Long Island for the work week.  I thought three nights and four days was a fairly good test run and was fairly curious myself to see how bad that baby had torn him up so we snipped it off.  I was a bit surprised to discover that this device had drawn blood in quite a few places but over all he seemed fine. I am considering locking him in for the week we are away in Chicago but in the meantime I am REALLY looking forward to seeing him tonight!

Wow, what an awesome evening! Brett took me out for a nice seafood dinner at River Station overlooking the Hudson at sunset and then to the Bardavon Opera house to see a dance performance by Momix.

Although located right in downtown Poughkeepsie, I had never been to the  Bardavon before. It has been open since 1869, is the oldest opera house in New York State and is a truly lovely old building.  I had also never heard of Momix before and our 4th row balcony seats gave us a marvelous view in this cozy but very comfortable venue. 

I watched in rapt fascination, mesmerized by the grace and beauty of these truly unique and beautiful performances.  There were of course wild and colorful costumes, as well as spectacular lighting. But one of the things that delighted me most (beside watching the dancers) was discovering that quite a few of the songs used for the dance are already on my Ipod! Artists such as Dead Can Dance, Peter Gabrial, Baka Beyond and Brent Lewis made me feel right at home. It was like they were dancing to one of my dungeon playlists! 

The combination of beautiful music, incredible dance and surreal lighting effect & imagery was stellar. I am embedding a video and including a review I found on YouTube because nothing I can say can do them justice.  If you ever get an opportunity to see them.. do it.   They were really amazing!

“Famous for developing a fascinating fusion of sublime contemporary dance and spectacular optical illusion, Momix conjure up an enchanting world of mysterious and surreal imagery that takes your breath away. Their latest show Greatest Hits! does exactly what it says on the tin — this is a stunning whistle-stop tour of all the company’s best-loved works that will delight all ages and leave you with one burning question: how on earth did they do that?”

So this week I did a hell of a lot of driving, mostly to help my niece with stuff. Monday I took her to Long Island to get a copy of her birth certificate and to visit a good friend of hers, but while there I got to see my sister, deliver her birthday gift a bit late, have dinner with my sweetheart AND spend some time with my dear friend Dave. Whew!! We got back late but it was a super day. Tuesday & Thursday I spent time with my favorite kid… and Friday it was off to New Jersey for the day with my niece again to get another piece of important paperwork squared away.

I was so happy to finally get home Friday night and find my sweetheart already there. Gosh I love that guy and it is so great coming home to him. He is the most romantic guy I have ever dated and I love how much he makes me laugh!! Friday night we just did dinner and snuggled in between me running Nadia to the mall and back for the Twilight party. (She is a HUGE fan, and it trying to convert me to being as obsessed with Rob Pattinson as she is).

Saturday morning my sweetheart woke me up and slipped me into some leather mitten cuffs and proceeded to tease and torment me deliciously for the next couple of hours. Oh My God that was awesome!! I would share more details but I a think I prefer to relish them in private.

That afternoon, (when we finally crawled out of bed) it was a truly beautiful day so we took a walk into town while Nadia roller bladed along, drank tea / coffee in a quaint little shop and enjoyed the sunshine and fresh spring air like young lovers. Then we went to see the new Nicholas Cage film “Knowing”, cuddled and ate popcorn.

Tonight that romantic guy of mine says he has a very special evening planned for me and I am totally excited! I will fill you in soon! I hope all my readers are having as wonderful a weekend as I am!

Sorry I have been away so long … Brett was here the week before last for a four day weekend (Thurs evening - Tuesday very early am) and will in fact be here those days on a pretty regular basis as we move into the next phase of our relationship, (which is the slightly more than half the week living together phase).  So far so good by the way.  I think things are going amazingly well between us. I really love the way we are together and several of my dearest friends have commented that they’ve never seen me so happy so they think he is great for me.  He also got the “Leather Clan” seal of approval.

I will admit though that I am still getting the hang of having him here for such long stretches and in some ways it is wonderful because I really enjoy his company!!  <grin> He makes me laugh like all the time because he has such a happy and cheerful spirit.  I also love having such a capable and attentive partner around the house! He is always finding odd chores to take care of for me on top of the “honey do” items I always seem to be throwing at him. About the only drawback so far is that I find myself wanting to spend time with him more than I want to get any work done so I will need to get a bit more focussed on that as time goes on but so far I am managing to keep the bills paid only working part time.

Last week we had a perfect mix of time well spent together! He helped me buy and put together a new cabinet for my “Temple” to store my over abundance of dungeon gear.  After the ensuing major reorganization project I naturally needed to rechristen the playroom and did a fun little scene that began with some fairly mean toe bondage  and evolved into a lovely little predicament that amused the hell out of me! <grin>  We also spent some time with my leather family helping them out with some things as they prepared for a well deserved vacation.  We grocery shopped like a nice normal vanilla couple, snuggled and watched some TV, did yard work together, took a nice drive on Sunday, and even hit an old fashioned ice cream shop for a banana split! How fabulously middle America huh?

Well, we also finished the last evening with me taking him gently but firmly over my lap in bed with a vibrator between us hitting sweet spots for us both, while I commenced to spanking his sweet smooth ass til it glowed hot and pink.  Then I had him kneel at the foot of the bed and stroke himself for my visual entertainment as I pleasured myself with my favorite vibrator. 

Eventually I got out a dildo as well and had him orally work it for me for awhile before I slid it inside myself and made him simply watch as I got more and more turned on.  I have mostly been in relationships as a switch in the past and I am truly enjoying stepping more fully into my dominance with him.  I love that I can be pretty much as kinky as my little heart desires with him and he loves me like crazy for it! 

This most recent weekend was a slightly shorter one but we played some more, shopped some more (this time for a whole new patio set including a waterfall and new barbeque) and made love a lot more but he had to return tonight to LI because he had a special previous engagement with his family.

But he will be back up here Tuesday evening long enough to crash and then hop a flight with me to Denver Wednesday morning! Woohoo Thunder in the Mountains here we come! I have never been to Colorado so I am really looking forward to doing a little sightseeing while we are there!  He has promised to start by taking me hiking in Estes State Park.

I am also going to finally meet my buddy Drew! I met Drew on-line over 10 years ago and we have been friends all this time, spent countless hours on the phone and emailed, exchanged cards and letters and so on for all these years but I am finally going to get to physically hug him and his sweet bride for the first time this coming Friday night.  How wild is that?

Ok that’s enough for tonight .. I am going to go curl up and relax for a bit.. more soon. 

I very much enjoyed the holiday weekend once my Brett arrived.  It was great to have a quiet weekend at home after all the travel of the last month but we did have a few places to go, people to see, things to do etc.

We went bed shopping Sat and my new “Kingsdown” bed was finally correctly delivered today and in spite of a less than ideal shopping experience with Sleepy’s, I do dearly love this wonderful new bed! We spent a mostly quiet Sat evening at home having a scrumptious dinner of steak & crab legs and then curled up together and watched a movie. 

Sunday we went to visit a couple that I know whom I have’t seen in over a year due to our mutually crazy schedules and we spent a great day catching up and eating and just enjoying life. :) 

Monday for our anniversary Brett and I mostly ran errands and caught up on projects that needed doing around the house & yard but we conciously enjoyed doing them together and remarking how neither one of us expected to be together in a relationship when we first played a year ago.

Life is funny that way.  I spent a long time between relationships searching but not quite finding someone who I felt was the right mix of all the things I was hoping for and to be honest, had almost come to believe that he simply wasn’t out there, and then he showed up on my doorstep. 

 Anyway, in other news,  sub lyn the “Long Distance Sub” has finished her commentary on her experience at La Domaine and included a few photos of my rope work (which are getting some very complimentary comments on her blog by the way). :D To see the rest of the pics included the finished piece click here: Long Distance Sub 

In case I hadn’t mentioned it lately, I really LOVE rope. I love the way it looks and feels and smells and so much more. I started a post a month or so ago about rope selection and what I find appealing about different kinds of rope for what purpose and when etc.  Maybe if I can get a quiet day to myself next week I will pull it out dust it off and finish it up.  In the meantime, I am going to get back to catching up on my rest! Be back soon. 

I definitely have an optimistic nature and generally if there is even a glimmer of a silver cloud to be found, I am on the trail. So today, although it started out a bit sad since Brett wasn’t able to make it up here for the holiday, I decided to make it a fairly productive one and spent it catching up on a few projects around the house and taking NiteFlirt calls.

I also spent some time thinking about a couple of things for which I am gratful and other reasons to celebrate.  I actually had an amazingly fun day yesterday playing with my sweet little god daughter, running around the park, playing on the swings and finishing the evening with a delightful tea party. I rarely talk about her here because it is not the right forum for it but that child is the most loving, compassionate and purely delightful soul that I have ever met and she is key source of joy and inspiration in my life for which I am ever grateful.

I will also be celebrating our one year anniversary with my Brett this week. Although we actually originally met more like 8 years ago, we have chosen the date that we first played intimately to be the one that will mark the years.  I am missing him tonight and I think I am going to call it an early night .. since he promises to be here when I awake in the morning, so the sooner I go to sleep. the sooner I will see him again.  Sweet Dreams all!

Perhaps it has a wee bit to do with my British birth and ancestry, perhaps not,  but one of my favorite “vanilla” things in life has always been to enjoy a nice cup of tea. 

Not long ago I discovered Harney & Sons and I have become quite an enthusiastic fan. I initially picked up a can with 20 silken sachets of their Earl Grey Supreme  in a specialty market and it was like finding bliss in a cup.  This was truly the most delicious cup of tea I had ever tasted!

The can pointed me to their website and I proceeded to spend well over an hour perusing their wonderful on-line store, trying to decide how to narrow down my many interests to a reasonable size order.  In the end I decided that I deserved to grab samples of every variety of Earl Grey that they offered, a 50 count bag of the Supreme, the Dragon Pearl Jasmine AND the 8 slot linen chest! I placed the order right before I went to Chicago and was delighted to have them here when I returned. Never have I tasted such delightful and flavorful blends!

Hell, I even decided it was time to learn to make a “proper” cup of tea, meaning fully boiling the water and letting it steep a full 5 mins rather than getting it from the hot water “cooler” and dumping my cream and sugar in moments later. (”Daddy Myke” of my Leather Clan would be proud since he and Angel bought me a proper kettle for Christmas and Danni Boi got me a lovely large tea pot.) I even showed My Brett how to heat the teapot before pouring the water in to steep the tea.

This morning My sweet Brett let me sleep in late, even though I so inconsideratly woke him up in the middle of the night last night.   And when I was ready to wake up at last, he had prepared and brought me up a pot of tea, complete with cream & sugar on the side, the cup and saucer, spoon and a raspberry turnover all on a lovely breakfast tray.  I love the way that man romances, pampers and cares for me.

As I sat in bed enjoying this treat I mused to him him much I would love it if we could visit Harney & Sons tea shop in Millerton some day.  He immediately popped onto the web and checked their address and discovered that it was not all that far away. Less than 2 hours later I was standing in this wonderfully elegant little tea shop.  He bought me a fabulous two cup thermal tea pot that keeps my second cup piping hot while I enjoy my first, as well as 2 more varieties of tea. Then we treated ourselves to a cup in their Zagat rated tasting room along with a scone plate with jam and clotted cream.

I was in my british glory and misted up thinking about how much I would have loved to have brought my dear mother there. It was an wonderfully perfect afternoon and I look forward to visiting again and again!  But in the meantime, if someone was looking for ideas of something to buy for me, a gift certificate from Harney’s would ALWAYS be welcome!

He lay sleeping beside me as I watch his chest rise and fall listening to the soft sound of his breath.  But I am not tired, nope, not tired at all. I did not feel him stir a bit as I slipped out of bed and grabbed a length of silk rope from my night stand, but when I turned toward him again, his wrists were silently outstretched in offering. Wrap wrap wrap… over.. under.. tie, the rope practically coils itself, then I run it over his head to the wrought iron headboard hitching securely… done.

Not a word is spoken but his eyes sparkle up at me lovingly as I crawl up in top of him, nestling my moist cunt lips over his stirring cock. I feel him twitch against me. Mmm, he is … intrigued. I wiggle my hips right to left, then front to back letting him feel my wetness, spreading it across his now deliciously hard flesh. Just one more nuance of movement, ah yes, he slips in.  I close my eyes and relish the sensation as he fills me perfectly.

Sweet silvery moonlight drifting gently through lace curtains, playing peek a boo with the shadows on his flesh.  He is so beautiful to me right now.  Submissive to me but far from weak, bound, but never broken. I adore his body, his strength, his service and his devotion.

I can see the beautifully defined muscles of his arms strain just slightly again the rope as I rake my nails fairly hard over his chest. I love him but, right now… I need to hurt him while I use him for my own sexual pleasure and ohh how I shall because..  he is mine, all mine.

So I spent a rainy morning lazing in bed, feeling grateful for a day off to totally relax but missing my sweetheart a bit.  I guess it is a good sign that I still miss him after spending seven days & nights together.  I think the saddest moment of the week for me was watching him crawl into a cab to head to his airport while I sat waiting for a shuttle bus to take me to mine.

Yeah I know I will see him again next weekend so it isn’t the end of the world, but it is hard sometimes to go from having him so close for so many days and then nothing.  I have grown very accustomed to being with him and I miss him when he goes home.  I love falling asleep in his arms and then waking up to find him pattering quietly about already placing a perfect cup of Earl Grey tea beside me.  It isn’t that he is a doting subbie boy that I love, in fact I don’t see him that way at all, but I do love the way he shows how much he cares for me in so many sweet little ways. 

More on that another day… for now .. let’s get back to “rope space” because I am also missing the camaraderie of my “rope clan”.  Shibaricon is without a doubt my favorite event of the year and there are many folks like Mark, & Lani (pictured below) and my friend Aleni of DV8 House Australia) that I only get to see  at this event. 

There were a ton of fabulous shots taken at the event by photographer David Lawrence and his lovely assistant and slave Judy.    He released a few photos to me including this one of me and my sweetheart taken early in the weekend.

As for making connections, this year I was especially glad to make the acquaintance of the Two Knotty Boys who made it to Shibaricon for the first time! If you have been into bondage for more than a week and have ever searched for bondage vids on Youtube you know who Dan & JD are! I was thrilled to have Dan stop by my Low Flying Suspension Class and tell me how much he enjoyed it and then later on at a presenter meeting I made a point of thanking them for their videos because I do truly admire and appreciate the effort that they put into them.  I also respect the fact they they are providing quality bondage material to 1000s of people that would not otherwise have access to it.  Check out some of their awesome videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/2KnottyBoys

I am also really glad that I got to spend more time with Leon & his lovely assistant Cherry.  I have seen them in the halls and in passing almost every one of my seven trips to Chicago and never really had the opportunity to visit and get to know them but this time we finally  an opportunity to head out of the hotel and grab a bite together. 

I also got to sit down and chat to Max of BondageLessons.com  over a strawberry daiquiri at the end of the event and found him to be a very charming man as well. He extended an invitation to Seattle that I am going to work on taking him up on hopefully in the next year or so.  I have heard fabulous things about his classes and as much as I know about bondage I never tire of watching another artist at work and I simply love picking up tips and tricks from fellow rope enthusiasts.  

Which is exactly why I love Shibaricon so much!  Rope lovers from all over the world come to Chicago to share their passion and their expertise with each other!  But don’t take my word for it .. check out what some of my fellow presenters and rope loving Mistress’ had to say: 

GrayDancer - http://www.graydancer.com/2008/05/28/the-most-important-thing-at-shibaricon/

Mark Yu - http://jadegate.blogspot.com/ (several posts from May 21 - on)

Troy Orleans - http://troyorleans.blogspot.com/2008/05/shibaricon-afterglow.html

Mistress Yin - http://mistressyin.livejournal.com/47977.html

And David’s Banner:

At Shibaricon tonight during opening ceremonies, I was honoured alongside another fine rope lover named Firefly, by a presentation of a suspension ring and a handmade length of rope by three men I admire tremendously. The idea and the ring came from my Brett because I had told him about something Lee Harrington had said during one of his classes a few years back that really touched me and he relayed that story to my friend Lochai.  This is what Lochai had to say prior to presenting the rings to us…

“During the course of one´s life certain milestones are reached & achievements are achieved. In different walks of life there are different ways to mark these occasions.  After years of schooling, diplomas, master´s degrees, PHDs that are hung on the walls to say, look, I have made it here. These pieces of paper costs a lot of time, skill & money to achieve. At the end of a race, trophies are presented to show what has been done in the past to be recognized by people in the future. Painful training, diets & daily sacrifice. At the end of a long uphill climb a flag is placed to show, I have made it to the top. Skill, diligence, perseverance.

In the Leather community when a Dominant has gained the respect of their peers, they are granted a cap to show, I am now part of the elite, I am now a capped Master. Years of training, mentorship & gaining the respect of others. This is one of the highest compliments a community can pay one of their own. In our community, the “Weaver Family”, the riggers. Those who like to tie & be tied, things are a bit different from the rest of society. We don´t subscribe to the same hierarchy system that other communities do. Yes, we do have those we respect, we look up to, we walk besides and those we consider our peers. Regardless of being the one who ties or loves the feel of the ropes themselves we look upon one another as equals without levels of accomplishments worn on our sleeves, or certificates on our walls or caps on our heads. We all have our own styles, philosophies, skills & ideals. We all have our own leaders we look up to based on our own personal experience and don´t have one central depository to defer to for guidance. Yes there are some among us who have more lines drawn to them than others but this is because they are humble and have touched so many with their desire to share their knowledge without expecting a return. We don´t need the material proof of this or the titles to know where we belong.

We are all on the same journey… which brings me to the reason I am up here tonight. I am humbled by the request to be here to make two special presentations. Based on the kudos that other communities bestow upon their own, we too have symbols that represent not our accomplishment per se, but our journey. These symbols are not the result of reaching “The End” but instead are symbols as well as tools of the trade to say, I too am on the journey with you. Tonight we are here to present our symbols of this journey, a ring & a hand made length of rope. To be used not to show “Look at what I have achieved but only to say, look what I have been given to use on my journey.” I am humbled because I have been asked to be one of the travelers that are looked up to by others on this journey of rope of ours. I would now like to ask another who has been asked to make these presentations to join me: Jimi Tatu.  

(Jimi offered a few words about how we first met and our friendship and then Lochai continued.)

Wow… has it only been 5 years? I met this beautiful, talented woman at this very event in the restaurant area of the hotel long with many others who are now present. What struck me was her humble attitude as well as a kick ass book of hojojitsu ties that we all stood around trying to decipher. Suze has been a guiding light to me and I have deferred to her many times when asked about ties & the journey. She has supported me on my own journey & I am proud to say that I am her friend. A talented rigger with a sense of the beauty to be found in our art that many do not see nor are able touch upon. I am again humbled to be here to present these material things to a woman who needs not prove anything to anyone……” 

By this point I was naturally in tears and could not manage to say anything at all.  I went up, did my best not to trip on anything because my face was streaked with happy and embarrassed tears so I couldn’t see very well.  I hugged them both very tightly, took my new ring and a length of rope that Lochai made with his own hands and then I sat down again and kissed my Brett.  Words still fail me.  I cannot begin to say how honored I feel or how much I will always treasure that memory and those gifts.  I am still humbled, amazed and awestruck that these men whose work I have admired for so very long would honour me that way and look at me as one of their peers.  Thank you guys..  I love you all.  <smile>