Suzanne SxySadist’s Personal Blog

My sweet Brett took me on a lovely escape weekend to Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts. It was so cute too the way he planned it and did a teasey little slow reveal. He started us off with a delightful rendition of “A Christmas Carol” at the Stageloft Reportory Theater! It was really quite entertaining and wonderful. The actors that played Marley and Scrooge were particularly great as their characters! After the play we checked in at our room at the Publick House founded in 1771. He booked us the “bridal suite” which was quite lovely but we only stayed a few moments and then we scurried off to Christmas by Candlelight at “Old Sturbridge Village“. I had never been there before and I totally enjoyed the experience. We walked in and out of these turn of the century buildings sampling mulled cider, roasted chestnuts, and fruit cake. We enjoyed the Christmas carolers, making tin icicles for the Christmas tree at the tinsmith, and so much more! The icing on the cake was a delicious prime rib meal at the Oliver Wight Tavern located on the grounds of Old Sturbridge Village. All in all the whole weekend was a wonderful pre-Christmas gift that was a delightful and much needed surprise.

But he didn’t stop there! Not only was Santa Brett very, VERY good to me with all the lovely goodies he slipped under my tree but he also bought tickets to see Jeff Pevar and friends at Infinity Hall for New Year’s Eve! Woohoo! He booked the special “Bistro on the Mezz” three course dinner so that we could dine on the balcony before the show and enjoy drinks (especially chai-tinis) throughout! But wait .. there’s more! Because he knew we were going to be drinking, and to make the evening even more special he booked us a room at the beautiful and elegant Manor House of Norfolk, CT that is a mere 5 minute stroll from the concert hall. We had their Victorian room and it was truly lovely! Beautifully appointed and boasted a convenient and cozy gas fireplace and scrumptious Jacuzzi tub. Yay! I LOVE Jacuzzis baby! The entire evening was wonderful. The Manor, the spiked cider, the stroll in the cool air on a starry night, the great seats, meal and chai-tinis (thanks Richard for the extra round!) and the fabulously talented group of musicians that entertained the hell out of us until the wee hours of the morning. We brought in the New Year with a lot of cheering, horn blowing, hugging and kissing and I have to say that I really love having that man in my life.

To the citizens of the United States of America

from Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English.

2. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

3. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

4. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

5. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

6. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

7. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar..

8. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

9. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

10. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body Armour like a bunch of sissies).

11. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first, to take the sting out of their deliveries.

12. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

13. An Internal Revenue agent (I.e. Tax Collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

14. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m., with proper cups, with saucers (never mugs), with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus, strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

OctRoperFest was held in Austin Texas Oct 21 – 23 and I was fortunate to attend this fabulous event with a dear friend and favored rope bottom of mine. We arrived in Texas on the Thursday before and our hotel was a few short blocks from Congress Ave where we discovered Town Lake and the fabulous walking trail around it. It was truly glorious and we walked at least 7 miles on it 2 days in a row. The weather was perfect, the trail was spectacularly beautiful and I fell in love with Austin! We also went to check out the Congress Ave bridge bats. I had no idea that Austin was home to the world’s largest urban bat colony or what a popular tourist attraction it was in Austin!

But the main reason for being in town was OctRoperFest! We were privileged to be invited to the presenter gathering Thursday night where we were able to meet and greet the marvelous presenters of the event: Mark Yu, Boss Bondage, Tomo, Mick & Dee Luvbight, David Masterson and Zamil. We were also treated to some of the most delicious barbeque courtesy of our hosts: Senor Jaime and FairerThanShe. It was a delightfully fun evening.

The next day after our walk my friend Mick picked us up and took us out to the Luvbight Ranch! Mick and Dee Luvbight of the world famous Luvbight Erotic BDSM Photography (which has won numerous bondage awards) have an absolutely beautiful place on the outskirts of Austin. Richard and I had a wonderful afternoon visiting with them and playing outdoors until it was time to head over to the space for the event’s opening festivities.

The event was being held in this funky cool artist studio / farmer’s market that had a fabulous little outdoor courtyard suitable for play. (I totally LOVE playing outdoors!) I spent much of Friday night throwing my single tail at some absolutely wonderful folks, several of whom were experiencing that sort of whip for the first time. (I also totally LOVE whip virgins! So single tailing whip virgins outside is a total treat for me!) I also loved reconnecting with some of my favorite rope people! Spending time with Charly B, Taipan, my buddy Mark Yu, Mistress Akume and too many others too name was definitely one of the highlights of the trip for me!

Saturday was jam packed with classes and I had a hard time deciding what to attend but everything we went to was very enjoyable and educational. We shared meals with great folks, thoroughly enjoyed the evening’s entertainment in the form of bondage cabaret shows and finished up having a delightful scene until the we hours of the morning. Sunday we attended two more classes and then sadly had to head back to the airport but not until after confirming with our hosts that I will be presenting at OctRoperFest 2012! I can hardly wait to get back to Austin! It was such a totally cool place to visit and I definitely look forward to exploring it more next year!

REConn stands for “Rope Enthusiasts of Connecticut” and is the local bondage lovers group that meets on the 4th Tuesday of every month at a kink friendly venue in Tolland. I absolutely love these meetings and totally love attending and sharing and learning new things with this great group of folks. I also enjoy snapping pics now and then of some of our class creations and have decided to share some of them with you here. I hope you enjoy them!