Are You Curious and New to the Scene, but hesitant to
take the plunge?
I consider it an honour, privilege as well
as a responsibility to be someone's "first" and
very much enjoy showing newcomers to the scene "the
ropes". I take extra care and go very slowly in these
cases. I also will often take much more time to explain
things through out the session and ask for feedback and
open communication so that I can be sure their needs are
being met. Want to know even more about how I approach "Newbies"?
Please read on.
I have often done what I call a "Newbie
Sampler". This seems to work well for "first timers".
Generally, I review your form to check for any thing I need
to be aware of (medical, health or other issues etc.) and
get an idea what you have expressed the most interest in
i.e.: corporal play, bondage, humiliation etc. Then I'll
take a few things from each category and loosely structure
our time together.
I start very slowly and do my best to put
you at ease, this is supposed to be fun after all, and if
you are a nervous wreck it is hard to enjoy yourself. I
am not a huge advocate of shoving "safewords"
at newbies. Yes I think it is a great concept and there
are many situations in which I do feel they are indispensable
but I tend to prefer open communication. I like to go slowly
and watch reactions to things. If something looks like it
hurts and you aren't enjoying it, I stop and ask if you
are ok and would like to try something else, simple. I remember
long ago forgetting a safeword in a scene once and being
too embarrassed to admit it to the Dom. Also, in the case
of not-so-newbies that I manage to push to subspace, you
find out pretty quickly that verbal communication is not
always possible. I tend to believe that if a Dom/me has
to rely on safewords all the time to know if a sub is in
trouble then the sub needs to find a new Dom/me.
Throughout the session I monitor your reactions
and get a feel for what feels good and what doesn't and
what we may need to save for another time. I encourage verbal
feedback if you are comfortable enough to give it, but body
language and facial expressions tell me volumes about what
you are feeling. I don't try to "push" newbies
the first couple sessions unless they ask me to step it
up a bit. I find it so much more rewarding to begin slowly
and watch them progress at their own pace.
There is no required level you must reach...
no particular thing you must endure before I am satisfied.
While I do enjoy (very much) playing with experienced players
that can handle tremendous amounts of sadistic torture,
I also adore seeing the look in someone's eyes when I know
their fantasies are being fulfilled and they are pleased
with the time we have spent together. After a session I
encourage new clients to write me a letter telling me what
they liked most, what they might want to not do again, what
they may be interested in for a future session and any other
relevant feedback they think I would find useful for future
sessions. It is important to me to know I did my best
to satisfy the needs of my playmates, but I realize I may
not meet those needs for everyone, especially the first
time. I am not strict or demanding enough for some peoples'
fantasy Domme scenario. I tend to be very playful and erotically
teasey, but am quite sensually sadistic with those that
can handle it.
Hey, let's be honest ... the financial tributes I receive
as a Professional Domme are critical to my staying in business
to (be) serve(d) another day (lol), but I really LOVE
what I do, whether it be with hardcore pain puppies, cross
dressers or total newcomers, I enjoy fulfilling fantasies
within the BDSM realm. I am a strong believer in "following
your bliss"... and I have found a way to do just that
and it brings much joy to my life. I wish you all the joy
that comes with living your dreams.