Taoist Erotic Massage for Men

By Suzanne SxySadist

Traditional massage therapy completely avoids the genitals & does not consciously engage erogenous zones of the body. While these massages can be therapeutic in other ways - and can of course be pleasurable and enjoyable on many levels - they can also leave a person with a vague sense of dissatisfaction or un-fulfillment because it can lead to a split of disconnection between the parts of the body touched and the parts left untouched. By consciously massaging the whole body, you can achieve a greater sense of wholeness & even have a deep healing effect on the person’s sense of well being.

Traditional ejaculatory orgasm is the only way most men know of to achieve erotic pleasure. The journey from the starting point of initial arousal to the end point, or ejaculation, is generally fairly short and has few highlights along the way. The end result of orgasm with simultaneous ejaculation is the entire goal and the journey is viewed mainly as a means to that end.

For men, ejaculation & orgasm are viewed as one in the same thing because they always seem to go hand in hand, however it is possible to achieve orgasmic bliss with out ejaculating. This is accomplished by learning some very simple techniques that can help a man separate the two. Ejaculation is a physiological reaction or reflex to stimulation that results in an emptying of semen from the testicles and the fluid from the prostate. This reflex, and resulting pulsations in the perineum, feel very pleasurable but it is possible to hold back the ejaculation process and still feel the waves of orgasmic pleasure and I can assure you that the longer you build and more widely you spread your energy, the more of your body will be engaged and the more incredible those experiences will be.

There are also several other benefits to learning to accomplish this.

First, if you withhold the ejaculate you are often able to not lose your erection and there fore forgo the refractory period and go on to enjoy multiple orgasms in a relatively short period of time. (The refractory period is the span of time it takes for your cock to recover between ejaculations.) This also helps you to not roll over and go straight to sleep – giving further credence to that punch line of the sad joke that many women tell each other about their unfulfilled sex lives. “Just as I was getting started and it was feeling really good … splurt it was over and moments later he is snoring.” By learning these ejaculation control techniques, you can make love all night and you and your lover can enjoy greater fulfillment, pleasure & joy in your lives.

Also, in many ancient traditions such as Tantra and Taoism it is believed that part of a man’s life force is contained in the ejaculate and that by releasing it you are losing energy, limiting your creative force and shortening your life span. While many men would find such claims far fetched and fanciful, I am sure you could at least agree that the moment you “cum” you are toast and all fun & games are over until next time.

Consider also that the average teaspoon full of semen contains enough DNA material to half create an average of 20,000,000 people per milliliter. That is a hell of a lot of building material and energy reserve being harvested from your body and spent for a mere few seconds of pleasure. Wouldn’t you like to learn to get more bang for your energetic “buck”?

Masturbation and “Self-pleasuring” is often very limited in creativity.

Most of us feel shame or embarrassment associated with self pleasuring to begin with. These negative & self defeating emotions, often coupled with negative body self image - and other “tapes in our heads” regarding sex & spirituality - can be very self limiting and prevent us from experiencing our body’s full pleasure potential. We are not taught to touch ourselves or others in an honoring and loving way. We often hold our breath far more than usual and rush through the journey to get to the goal of orgasm.

Fantasy & pornography often play a key role in getting us to orgasm as quickly as possible which limits the amount of pleasure we allow ourselves to feel by shortening the duration. They (porn & fantasy) also take us out of our bodies and the present moment and put the focus on something other than ourselves or the person we are with.

The specific goal of Taoist erotic massage ...

is to generate & spread erotic energy throughout the body - using honoring touch, intentional presence and conscious breathing - to create a highly awakened, aroused & energized altered state of consciousness. In this blissful state it is possible for men (and women also) to have full body orgasmic experiences that can last for minutes or even hours. These can be amazingly more powerful & nurturing experiences than typical orgasms.

As the giver it can be helpful to approach the massage as a meditative practice. Letting your heart be full of compassion and a desire to serve, wanting only the highest good for the body, soul & spirit on your table. Try to always stay fully present with your partner energetically and let your intention flow from your heart to your hands so that it may guide you. If you find yourself being distracted by thoughts or other mind chatter, gently bring your focus back to your heart and hands. Remember to breathe fully & consciously while you are guiding your partner to do so. Pay some attention to your body and your stance so that you are not holding or creating tension in your body, otherwise it will transfer through your hands to the person you are touching and your partner will feel it.

As a receiver, many people discover that it is far easier to give than to receive simply because it can be hard to let go of control and surrender to pleasure. I find that the greatest challenge but most rewarding experiences can take place when as a receiver you are able to stay totally in your body and be open to receiving as much pleasure as you possibly can.

Preparation to give a Taoist erotic massage -

Many factors and ingredients can go into making a massage experience truly special. You can decide which of the following are most important based on the situation, the time available & the purpose or intention of the massage.

Some basic essentials –

· A willing participant – Your partner may or may not be in the mood for a massage at any given moment. You can only offer an invitation but do not take it personally if you are declined. It is also helpful and wise to be clear in your intention when making the offer and negotiate what will and will not take place to avoid misunderstandings.

· A warm, quiet, private space without interruptions –If possible be sure you have the place to yourself or try to arrange it so that others in the house will not be disruptive. Turn off the phones. The person receiving the massage will be far more sensitive to temperature than you are so try to be sure they are warm enough. Use a sheep or towel to drape parts of the body you are not massaging if necessary.

· Oil, lube, etc – If you are only doing a light body massage as part of the warm up then you may not want to go all out using oil. You can give a nice “wake up” massage simply using light to medium dry strokes. You can also use a lotion of some kind that will help the strokes glide but will also absorb into the skin. Another option as a massage medium is cornstarch which has a deliciously silky and nurturing feel to it. But, if your intention includes deep relaxation in the body you may choose to use oil of some kind. Many places now carry a variety of prepared massage oils some of which are even scented with various fragrances which can have an additionally soothing effect on the body but please be sure that the scent agrees with your partner. You can also use plain coconut or almond oil for example and keep it unscented or add your own essential oils or fragrance.

· Oil also works well for the male genitals but it is not environmentally friendly for the female genitals which would be good to keep in mind if you intend to have sex during or after the massage. You should also be aware that most oils will damage or destroy latex condoms which will make them useless or at least less reliable as protection. My preferred medium for the genitals (male or female) is Eros Glide or similar silicone based lubricants. It is latex friendly, stays silky a very long time and has little or no taste.

· A massage table or other appropriate surface – Of course a table is an idea surface and worth the investment if this is something you intend to enjoy & explore a lot. However, many people find that working on a bed or a carpeted floor works well also. It is very important for the giver to be aware of their body mechanics to avoid back strain. If you are uncomfortable or not enjoying giving the massage, the receiver will sense that and not relax or be able to enjoy it fully. Basically, if you aren’t both going to really enjoy it, then don’t do it.

· Music, candles & more – I find that decorating or preparing the space you will be in adds tremendously to the experience and honors you both. A few extra touches can lend a amazing sense of sacredness to the occasion. Candle light, mild incense, flowers or an altar of items special to you are just a few of those touches. Choosing the right music or back ground sound can also be key to the experience. Avoid loud, crashy beats. Most song lyrics have a way of pulling a person out of their body to an extent by keeping their mind engaged even sub consciously. There is a vast array of new age or meditative style music that can enhance the mood tremendously. Experiment with a few until you find what suits you both best.

The importance of Intention –

Your intention is the reason for, purpose of, or desire you wish to attain thru your actions or experience. Setting and intention for the massage or love making ritual can elevate the experience for both parties from being one of purely physical delight into the realm of the deeply spiritual, sacred or holy. You can set an intention together or you can have separate but compatible intentions. Whatever intention you choose is valid and good as long as it comes from a loving place in your heart.

For me, this work is most fulfilling when I approach it with an intention of healing shamanism or devotional worship. As a healer my desire is to help make my partner and thereby myself, feel more whole. This can take many forms and is truly a worthy goal since so many of us are broken and damaged in the area of our sexuality. I have also found deep gratification in opening people’s eyes even a little to some of the possibilities of sacred sexual exploration. Witnessing a man having his first full body orgasm or teaching him how to peak over and over again until his entire being is alive with pleasure in an honour and a privilege for me and one that I feel qualifies as shamanic work. As for devotional worship, I feel that by totally honouring the divine in another human being is the way that I best serve my Divine Guidance.

Namaste' (I honor the divine in you)

Suzanne SxySadist

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