As a healer, my desire is to help make my partner (and thereby myself,) feel more whole. This can take many forms and is truly a worthy goal since so many of us are broken and damaged in the area of our sexuality. I have also found deep gratification in opening people\u2019s eyes even a little to some of the possibilities of sacred sexual exploration. Witnessing a man having his first full body orgasm or teaching him how to peak over and over again until his entire being is alive with pleasure is an honour and a privilege for me and one that I feel qualifies as shamanic work. As for devotional worship, I feel that by totally honouring the divine in another human being is the way that I best serve my Divine Guidance.<\/p>\n
Presence<\/strong> \u2013 To be fully present and connected with someone while deeply in the moment, to me is one of the greatest gifts one person can offer to another. If the giver is not fully present the receiver will absolutely \u201cfeel\u201d it. \u00a0This means staying focused, connected and attuned to your partner, while not getting caught up in your own head and doing your best to eliminate outside distractions. This can be understandably challenging since our minds are often used to wandering off or to fantasy land, real life concerns, and issues or countless other distractions. If you do find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the moment and refocus your attention and energy onto your partner and the moment you are sharing. \u00a0When I am giving massage work I also try to keep the receiver present as well, rather than let them zone out or drift away. \u00a0I find it can be a wonderful experience to stay connected and attuned to what is going on in his or her body, physically, spiritually & emotionally. \u00a0\u00a0This can be especially helpful when trying to help men learn to delay ejaculation and explore greater heights of pleasure and eroticism.<\/p>\n Preparation \u2013<\/strong> It can be quite helpful and appropriate to make a few preparations before you begin so that you can both get the most from the encounter:<\/p>\n Music, candles & more<\/em> \u2013 I find that decorating or preparing the space you will be in adds tremendously to the experience and honors you both. A few extra touches can lend an amazing sense of sacredness to the occasion. Candlelight, mild incense, essential oils with healing properties, flowers or an altar of items special to you are just a few of those touches. Choosing the right music or background sound can greatly enhance the experience.\u00a0 Avoid loud, crashy beats. Most song lyrics have a way of pulling a person out of their body to an extent by keeping their mind engaged or distracted. There is a vast array of new age or meditative style music that can enhance the mood tremendously. Experiment with a few until you find what suits you both best.<\/p>\n Massage surface<\/em>– Of course a massage table is an ideal surface and worth the investment if massage work is something you intend to enjoy & explore a lot. However, many people find that working on a bed or a well padded carpeted floor works adequately well also. (Be sure to use a towel, chuck or old sheet to protect your surface if desired.) It is very important for the giver to be aware of their body mechanics to avoid back strain and muscle fatigue. Back jacks can help for floor work. If you are uncomfortable or not enjoying giving the massage, the receiver will sense that and not relax or be able to enjoy it fully. Basically, if you aren\u2019t both going to be able to really enjoy it, don\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n Preparing your partner<\/em> – Your partner (giver or receiver) may or may not be in the mood for a massage at any given moment. You can only offer an invitation but do not take it personally if you are declined. It is also helpful and wise to be clear in your intention when making the offer and negotiate what will and will not take place to avoid misunderstandings. Open, honest communication is always a good idea. If you both do wish to proceed it can be very helpful to take the time to shower or bathe and perform an enema before you begin. Working on fresh bodies is usually far more pleasant for the giver and for those of us that are a bit skittish about invasive procedures that involve hygiene; it can help the receiver to relax more easily if they know they are as clean there as possible. You can make the enema part of the scene or not depending on what will best serve both parties involved.<\/p>\n Conscious Breathwork<\/em> \u2013 I cannot possibly stress enough how helpful and transformative conscious breathing techniques can be in this and many other sexual and BDSM related activities.\u00a0 Breathing slowly and deeply into the body, all the way down to the pelvic floor can be wonderfully calming and will help the anus and surrounding tissues relax as well.\u00a0 (Get your head in your ass and kiss the earth) A faster paced \u201ccharging breath\u201d can be more invigorating and can build energy. Consciously shifting the breathing patterns can help delay orgasm and prevent ejaculation. \u00a0(Also use those PC muscles boys!)<\/p>\n Using breath mindfully can also help the body to process strong sensation and keep you both focused, connected and in the present moment.\u00a0 It is also possible to experience \u201cbreath orgasms\u201d by using techniques such as the \u201cBig Draw\u201d. (Remember: charge with energy using breath, deep breath in: sigh, hiss, roar, then clench everything and hold until you can\u2019t hold one moment more. Then just let it all go.)<\/p>\n Other Equipment to gather – <\/strong><\/p>\n Massage oil, cream, etc<\/em> \u2013 If you are only doing a light body massage as part of the warm up then you may not want to go all out using a \u201cmessy\u201d medium. You can give a nice \u201cwake up\u201d massage simply using light to medium dry strokes. But, if your intention includes deep relaxation in the body you may wish to use oil or<\/em> massage cream or lotion of some kind. Many places now carry a variety of prepared massage oils & lotions, some of which are even scented with various fragrances which can have an additionally soothing effect on the body but please be sure that the scent agrees with your partner. You can also use plain coconut or almond oil for example and keep it unscented or add your own essential oils or fragrance. Oil is very typically used but has a tendency to stain sheets and clothing and may leave your partner feeling greasy.\u00a0 You can also use a lotion or cream of some kind that will help the strokes glide but will also absorb into the skin. Another option as a massage medium is cornstarch which has a deliciously silky and nurturing feel to it.<\/p>\n For the anal work<\/em> itself – You should also be aware that most oils will damage or destroy latex condoms which will make them useless or at least less reliable as protection.\u00a0 Many people like to use water based lubricants. My preferred medium for the genitals (male or female) is Eros Glide or similar silicone based lubricants. It is latex friendly, stays silky a very long time and has little or no taste. Warming the lube is a really nice touch.<\/p>\n Gloves<\/em> \u2013 Make sure to use properly sized gloves for the giver\u2019s hands. Leave a small cuff for easy removal and pull one off carefully inside the other to prevent spatter or contamination.<\/p>\n Condoms<\/em> \u2013 to use on lube bottle & \u201cinsertables\u201d<\/p>\n Paper towels or \u201cchucks\u201d<\/em> – to place soiled items on and for clean up<\/p>\n Saran wrap<\/em> – for analingus or rimming if desired (oral\/anal sex)<\/p>\n Sex Toys <\/em>\u2013 My favorites are the cordless Accuvibe, the HHitachi Magic Wand and the Natural Contours Ultime (blue curved insertable). Using external vibration at the perineum can feel really wonderful.<\/p>\n Body Massage Strokes \u2013 <\/strong>You do not have to be a professionally trained massage therapist to give a great massage!<\/p>\n Initial contact with the body<\/em> \u2013 should be slow, gentle and deliberate and will set the tone for the entire massage.<\/p>\n Rocking the body<\/em> \u2013 gently rocking the body from side to side can be a deeply relaxing sensation and a wonderful way to begin to get them to settle in. Ass (Glutes) Massage –<\/strong>just a few examples, use your imagination! Petrissage – <\/em>kneading, grabbing and moving the flesh of the ass around but without sharp pinching. Anal (Anus) Contact – <\/strong>Do not rush into penetration, go gently & slowly<\/p>\n Pre-lube strokes<\/strong> – can be done gently without lube Post Lube Strokes<\/strong> – apply your favorite lubricant liberally Internal Work \u2013 <\/strong>only when the anus begins to relax should you attempt any sort of penetration and only then with a LOT of lube. Ask them to \u201cbreathe\u201d your finger in slowly.<\/p>\n More gentle stretches<\/em> – to help open & loosen the external and internal sphincters Resources for more Information<\/strong> –<\/p>\n Schools & Instructors <\/strong> Books & Videos<\/strong> If you have any questions on this presentation or would like to book a private consultation please feel free to contact me directly by email at: \u00a0<\/strong>Mistress@SxySadist.com<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n This handout took me quite some time, effort and love to prepare. Please do not duplicate, copy, repost or otherwise \u201crip it off\u201d without my permission. Thanks! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Download a PDF of this Class Handout here<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Copyright SMAntics 2017 \/ All rights reserved \/ Suzanne SxySadist Email:\u00a0Mistress@SxySadist.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"![\"ass2\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.sxysadist.com\/MainSite\/wp-content\/uploads\/ass2-230x300.jpg?resize=230%2C300\")
Preparing safe space<\/em> \u2013 Preferably you should choose a warm, quiet, private space without interruptions. If possible, try to be sure you have the place to yourself or try to arrange it so that others in the house will not be disruptive. Turn off the phones. The person receiving the massage will be far more sensitive to temperature than you are, so try to be sure they are warm enough.\u00a0 Use a sheet or towel to drape parts of the body you are not massaging if necessary.<\/p>\n![\"ass3\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.sxysadist.com\/MainSite\/wp-content\/uploads\/ass3-300x288.jpg?resize=300%2C288\")
<\/p>\n
Effleurage<\/em> \u2013 use light to moderate all over grounding & connecting touch to wake up or soothe your partner\u2019s body. Long strokes that extend the entire length of the body are especially nice. Step with the stroke, do not overreach or you lose the effectiveness.
Deeper Tissue work \u2013<\/em> if you encounter extremely tight muscles it can be appropriate to work them more deliberately but be sure to go in deeper gradually. Do not mash the muscles into masochism, stroke and seduce them into submission. \u00a0Deep tissue does not have to hurt!<\/p>\n
Please remember to \u201cFollow the resilient edge of resistance\u201d<\/strong> Don\u2019t go too deep & not too light.<\/p>\n
Vibration & tremors<\/em> – very fast light to moderate pressure using fingertips, the heel of the hand & fist.
Deeper tissue work <\/em>– again as above, deep but never to the point of pain or it is self-defeating to relaxation.
Forearm press & glides<\/em> – just as it sounds across broad surfaces, be careful not to dig too deep with the elbow<\/p>\n
Rock around the clock stretch <\/em>\u2013stretch gently all around the perimeter
Directional stretch<\/em> – wake up stretch horizontal and vertical
Fist & Palm tremors & vibrations<\/em> \u2013 light to moderate pressure<\/p>\n
Glides<\/em> – gently gliding fingers or side of the hand across the anus
Gliding vibrations<\/em> – warming combination stroke
Spider Fingers<\/em> – wiggle & stroke fingers separately in the \u201cass crack\u201d
Tease the rosebud<\/em> – \u00a0must be very relaxed and well lubed or it will be irritating rather than pleasurable.<\/p>\n
Prostate Holding <\/em>– locate the prostate and place one or two fingers on it and simply hold them there as the receiver breathes into the sensation. This can be a very nurturing touch
(Please note that prostate work, like G-spot work, can release trapped emotions in the body. Stay fully present and be supportive)
Circular strokes<\/em> – rotate in a clockwise direction around one or both lobes of the prostate gently but firmly for several minutes, then reverse direction and rotate the other direction.
Milking stroke<\/em> – stroke downward as if you were motioning \u201ccome here\u201d with your fingers
Thumb in \/ fingers stroking the root of the<\/em> cock – slide the thumb into the anus and then allow the fingers to separate to either side of the testicles while stroking the internal root of the cock.<\/p>\n
A dedication – To Erik \u201cChester\u201d Mainard – <\/em>One of the most gifted healers to ever grace the planet and the man that me to: \u201cGet my head in my ass & Breath!\u201d \u00a0Many thanks & God Bless you Chester. You are so missed!
Paul Barber<\/em> – Toronto-based body worker, sacred intimate, life coach and a very supportive friend. \u00a0Thanks for all your help & guidance Paul!\u00a0\u00a0 www.torontobodyworker.com<\/a>
The Body Electric School <\/em>– Taught me so much & opened my eyes to even more.\u00a0 www.bodyelectric.org<\/a>
The New School of Erotic Touch<\/em> – Great video selections and other resources www.eroticmassage.com<\/a><\/p>\n
Anal Pleasure & Health<\/em> – by Jack Morin
Uranus: Self Anal Massage for Men<\/em> – DVD available through my website at www.sxysadist.com<\/a>
Anal Massage for Relaxation and Pleasure (Volume 1)<\/em> -DVD available through my website at www.sxysadist.com<\/a>
Anal Massage For Lover (Volume 2)<\/em> – DVD available through my website at www.sxysadist.com<\/a><\/p>\n