This is the second part of my educational series on flogging. We covered the basics in Part 1 – now, it’s time to get hands-on. That’s right—it’s time to pick up a flogger and learn how to use it with confidence and care. 🙂

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How to throw a flogger – First off, if you’ve never thrown a flogger before, I highly recommend practicing against a hanging pillow or something softish that somewhat replicates what a body would be like to hit. Something that can somewhat absorb the impact like memory foam under a sheet so you don’t tear it up and have bits of foam everywhere. 😊 I like making a targeted area by tape marking a large plus sign (+) target. In the photo here my cross has a padded surface that helps absorb the impact.

Think of the quadrants as upper right and left, and lower right and left—like shoulders and cheeks. Then, practice hitting these areas with consistent aim and control.   This helps you get a feel for the implement and develop some consistency.  

It was pointed out to me that if you swing a flogger hard against a wall or other surface with no give, that you could damage the implement.  PLEASE DO NOT trash your lovely new toys by beating them to a pulp against something that will fray or shred the tresses.

Side note – Hopefully this is obvious but hitting people in harmful ways can cause damage and scare off potential playmates (rightfully so!). Be sure to get a good amount of practice under your belt before you move on to hitting living things. (OK well I admit to cutting an awful lot of leaves with single tails.)

When you do feel ready to actually throw floggers at humans, I think it would be wise and advisable to practice on an experienced bottom that is able to negotiate well and give you truthful and honest feedback. Let your ego take a rest and make sure you are building a solid skill base.

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Ok actually throwing the flogger – can be a bit challenging to describe in words, which is why I made this companion video to go along with this article. However, I’ll do my best to explain the basic technique.

Basic Overhand Stroke – Start with your stance evenly balanced on both feet, standing squarely without leaning forward or backward. If you lean, your body will be unbalanced, and you’ll likely have a longer reach than if you maintain good posture. Once you develop a consistent swing and understand your range, you can start varying your stance more. I also suggest wearing flats to my lady friends, though I know that’s not a popular opinion—I’ve found that after many years of wearing high heels while working, my back has suffered greatly.

Hold the flogger in your dominant hand, thinking of it not just as a tool but as an extension of your arm. As you swing, focus on channeling your energy and intention through the tips of the flogger—aiming to fully extend your arm outward, then bringing it back in a smooth, controlled motion..

Begin with simple out-and-back overhand strokes, practicing this 10 to 12 times with your dominant hand. Pay close attention to the feedback—feel when the flogger connects with your target. Tune into how hard you’re connecting and whether the tips land together. Once you’re comfortable, repeat the exercise with your non-dominant hand.

Learning to use both hands offers several benefits: it promotes better overall balance in your body, reduces strain on a single shoulder, and allows you to extend your practice sessions by switching arms—resting one while working the other. Building muscle memory in both hands gives you an edge when progressing to more advanced techniques like Florentine flogging. Plus, practically, if you ever sustain an injury—say, from a snowmobile accident—and can’t use your dominant arm, you’ll still be able to practice and enjoy. I wish I had been told this early; training both hands from the start would have made a big difference for me.

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Scaling Energy and Force (1–10) – Once your muscle memory starts to establish, experiment with varying the amount of energy or force behind each stroke, from as light as possible to as heavy as you can control accurately. Practice adjusting your force within this scale. For example, hit a “5” consistently for 10 or 12 strokes, then try going a bit harder or softer while maintaining accuracy and hitting your target. This helps you develop control and feel for different intensities.

Additionally, try to develop a sense of how to swipe with a glancing blow that connects lightly and then swishes across the body, as opposed to strikes that “stick the landing.” Those strikes that deliver all their force into the hit and then drop away tend to have a greater impact and should probably be reserved for after the warm-up. Learning to control the force and finesse of your strikes will help you achieve the desired sensation and keep the experience safe and enjoyable.

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Other Flogging Strokes – Here are a few other types of strokes to consider as you build your repertoire.

Figure 8s – This can be tricky to describe, but I’ll try. After completing your overhand stroke and returning with the flogger, you can perform a figure 8 (actually an infinity symbol—lol). When doing this, you have a choice: keep the back of your hand facing up—this allows for a more focused return stroke—or roll your wrist so the flogger gets an under hand or what I call a “soft return.” But is also called a cascade or waterfall technique

This gentler return stroke lets the flogger fall more lightly on the body, with tails that splay out a bit more. Both methods are fine—deliberately choosing either variation allows you to create different sensations and diversify your technique. It’s helpful to learn both ways now so that when you move on to longer whips, you won’t need to relearn figure 8s from scratch. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. 🙂

Florentine Flogging – This one is more advanced and takes practice, but it feels and looks fantastic once you get it. After mastering figure 8s with both hands individually, the goal is to have one whip in each hand, working together with quick, split-second timing. It’s a “follow the leader” rhythm—first one hand, then the other. You’ll experience moments of frustration (“I don’t have it yet”), but eventually, it clicks, and the technique becomes natural.

Take breaks if needed—return to simple figure 8s or other strokes, then try again. I don’t consider myself a master of Florentine flogging, but I enjoy using a simple four-part hand-over-hand pattern. Mixing tools—like horsehair and lambskin or bunny fur with something thuddier—is also perfectly fine. Just pay attention to the lengths of the implements; if one is longer, you may need to adjust your stance or find another way to compensate.

Sideways Swing – Batter Up!
Swinging the flogger sideways requires you to shift your body so you are standing perpendicular to the target, executing a smooth horizontal stroke. I strongly advise caution when using this technique on someone, as these swings tend to deliver deeper force into the body.

Vertical Bodies – Most of the strokes I described above are intended to be used on someone who is standing upright or in a vertical position. It should be obvious, but when a body is in a vertical plane—as opposed to a flat wall—there are areas that stick out more than others. As you swipe a flogger through the air, it will naturally make contact with these prominent spots more easily than with less prominent areas. Duh, right? You’d think so, but when I was starting out with floggers, one of my exes had this lovely “bubble butt”—and I quickly learned to pay attention to the body’s contours to better target my strikes rather than accidentally abusing the top shelf as much.

Horizontal Targets – I also suggest you work on swings that would land onto a bed or massage table and think in terms of a person laying there. You can use either glancing blows that hit and continue across the surface or ones that are focused to land and stay on a particular area. Remembering that these may feel far more intense and you have to pay extra attention to under lying structure.

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It’s a Wrap! – This is a good moment to emphasize the importance of being aware of your tips. If you swing a flogger from the side and the implement extends past the body, those tips can whip around with enough centrifugal force to cause serious pain—or even actual injury! This phenomenon is called a wrap. Light, sensual, caress-like wraps can be quite lovely, but anything more intense can be genuinely unpleasant.

Another area to watch out for is when working on the back—make sure your tips do not extend over the top of the shoulder. Collarbone wraps can be truly miserable! The good news is that it’s easy to correct: simply take another half step back, ensuring that your flogger fully lands on the body and avoids wrapping around other areas.

To practice this technique before working on a partner, you can try using a thick pillow and keep the tips on the pillow, not wrapping over the edges. This helps you become more aware of your control and prevent unwanted wraps. It happens, we all do it from time to time but whenever possible try your best to minimize it.

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Before you start hitting people – If you’re still reading this, then you’re clearly a dedicated kinkster—which is great! I hope this means you’ve already done some research on important lifestyle practices like communication, consent, limits, safe words, negotiations, and aftercare. This article is NOT intended to cover all those foundational concepts, so please make sure you are well-versed in them before actually hitting someone.

One important point to remember: just because you are the Top or Dominant doesn’t mean you are all-powerful or all-knowing. It’s essential to keep a beginner’s mind when learning new skills. No matter what type of dynamic you have with your bottom, it is YOUR responsibility to keep them safe and do no harm. Be open to communication—encourage your partner to tell you how you’re doing. If you’re hitting too high or too low, wrapping the tails over the shoulder or around the hips, you need to learn how to correct your technique. Don’t expect them to simply endure poor technique. Even if they hand you a blank check and say they have no limits, use common sense. Never hit someone in places or with enough force that could cause damage. Prioritize safety and mutual respect at all times.

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Ok What can I hit? – The most common areas we’re advised to use floggers are the upper and mid back, buttocks, front and back of the thighs, and the chest. Please be extra cautious around breast tissue, as it can be easily damaged. However, I believe it’s more important to actually look at and gently run your hand over (with permission) the body you’re working on. Every human body is different—some people have a thicker layer of muscle or fat over their underlying structures than others. Some very slender people I have met have very little fleshiness between their skin and their shoulder blades for example while other folks have great padding.  You have to be able to adapt your play level to each person’s body and comfort level, limits and mood. And please remember that can be different on different days. Just because he or she could take a heavy and intense flogging one day, that may not be true when they are in the midst of their menstrual cycle or had a really tough week at work. So please always communicate with your partner and ask what areas they enjoy sensation on and how much, as well as which areas are off-limits or overly sensitive. A good top will be able to adjust to their partner’s comfort level and ability in the moment. no matter what your power dynamic looks like.

Everyone says to avoid the kidneys! Like, seriously, it’s often considered a no-fly zone between the upper back and the butt and I am not saying this isn’t true but I feel having critical thinking skills are more valuable than pat rules with no explanation or understanding of WHY it’s a rule. I would prefer that we use some common sense!  If you’re doing a light to moderate Florentine or cross-body flogging, and your strokes graze over the upper to mid-back, flowing down and glancing over the kidney area, you’re unlikely to cause harm. However, heavy or deep blows directed specifically into the kidney area are a different matter and could cause damage.  Make sense?

The same applies to the front of the body, particularly the belly or breasts. It’s worth repeating that it’s crucial to discuss potential risks with your partner—especially around striking breast tissue—and make sure they don’t have piercings, cysts, or other contraindications. If the breasts are not a part of YOUR actual body – then it should be up to the owner how much impact they are comfortable with receiving on them.

It all comes down to knowing what you’re hitting, understanding the underlying structures, and controlling the force of your strikes. Do not go there until you’re confident you can manage these factors safely and then negotiate properly and receive enthusiastic consent and ongoing communication to be sure they are still on board throughout.

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Technique is great, Connection is key! – This should seem obvious, but often when someone is new to a skill set, they can get caught up in executing the technique rather than paying attention to the effect it’s having on their partner. Yes, technique is important, but your primary goal is to hopefully create a great experience with another human being.  Hopefully someone you like, so please pay attention to how it is being received. Even if your partner is facing away from you, you can still watch for subtle body language cues—are they holding tension in their shoulders, clenching their buttocks, gripping the cuffs tightly as if their life depends on it, or stopping their breathing altogether? What noises are they making or not making?  Sometimes, a bottom or submissive will endure unpleasant or painful play without speaking up or using their safe word because they have been told they must endure no matter what, or they don’t want to disappoint you. Some bottoms with past trauma can go non verbal in situations where they are unable to communicate their needs.

It’s crucial to watch them carefully so you can gauge how they’re doing long before it reaches a point of serious discomfort or harm. Even if you think you know how they’re feeling, check in with them. A simple method I use is asking them, on a scale of 1 to 10—where 1 is “yawn” and 10 is “RED”—how intense the stroke feels. I can then adjust the force accordingly by increasing or decreasing the intensity as needed. Always make sure to warm them up before moving on to heavier play, even if they’re eager for it. Most bodies need some time to transition from a non-play state to more intense sensations. Very few people can go from 0 to 60 instantly and enjoy it.

The Importance of Breath – I’ll touch on this briefly, as this article has already grown longer than I initially planned, but I want to emphasize that learning to breathe properly was the single most important thing I ever discovered for enjoying intense sensations as a bottom. I became aware of the concept of conscious breathwork through The Body Electric School, and it completely transformed how I process pain by teaching me how to use my breath to transmute or move the sensation.  Hey, if breathwork can help a woman endure childbirth, it can definitely get you through a flogging.  <wink>

Seriously though, I’ve discovered that different forms of breathwork can lead to a variety of outcomes. Breathwork helps me move energy and sensations throughout my body, soothing my parasympathetic nervous system and promoting relaxation. Some techniques can even build energy in exciting ways, leading to intense experiences like breath orgasms. Additionally, breathwork enhances my ability to tolerate stronger sensations and access endorphins more easily, helping me stay grounded and connected to my body. Depending on my intention and desire, it can also facilitate deep emotional connections or allow me to experience a sense of soaring freedom.

I find it incredibly helpful, especially when topping for others, to guide them into deeper, more rhythmic breathing rather than just gritting their teeth and trying to push through. Having someone follow your breath pattern creates a connection on another level, heightening intimacy and trust. I strongly encourage you to learn more about this—they’re truly valuable skills to develop.

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In conclusion,
I hope you’ve found this article helpful and informative. I welcome your respectful feedback or questions anytime at [email protected].

Most importantly, I wish you all the best in your explorations—have fun, stay safe, and enjoy the journey!